A man had just moved to the United States, and he was having trouble with the English language. He was walking along the street one day when he passed a liquor store. The man decided that he could really use a drink, so he decided to go in. "Excuse me," he said to the clerk. "Where can I find a butt?" "A butt?" asked the confused worker. "Oh oh, you must mean a BUD," and he sold the foreign man a six pack of Bud Light.
The man continued walking along, and soon he came upon a hardware store. He thought of all the gardening that he had to do at his new house, so he decided to go in. "Excuse me sir," he said to a man wearing an apron. "Can you show me where I can find a fucket?" "A fucket? Oh oh, you must mean a BUCKET," and the clerk sold the foreigner a 10-gallon bucket.
The man kept walking until he came to a pet store. In the window, he saw the most beautiful cockerspaniel. He simply had to have the dog. "Excuse me," he said to the woman behind the counter. "I want to buy that cockandspankit." "Cockandspankit?" asked the confused woman. "Oh oh, you must be talking about that COCKERSPANIEL," and she sold the man the cockerspaniel.
The man was headed back home with his purchases, when all of a sudden, the dog's leash slips out of his hand. The man is frantic, but he spots a police officer. "Officer!" exclaims the foreigner. "Would you please hold my butt and fuckit, while I go get my cockandspankit?"