A minister is sitting in the confession booth when an altar boy comes up to him and says, "There's an emergency and we need you right away." The minister goes up to the janitor who is standing outside and asks him if he would listen to the confessions for him. The janitor replies, "I'm not religious, I don't know how to do any of that stuff." The minister says, "It's ok, just listen to what they say and look it up in this book and tell them what it says." The janitor agrees and sits down.
The first man comes in. "Father, I have sinned." "What have you done?" "I have beat my child." The janitor looks it up in the book, and says, "Three hail Marys." "Thank you father."
The next man comes in. "Father I have sinned." "What have you done?" "I have performed Oral Sex." He looks it up. He can't find it under oral, so he looks up sex. It's not there. He gets nervous and says, "One minute." He walks out of the booth and goes over to an altar boy lighting some candles. He asks the boy, "What does the Father usually give for oral sex?" The boy looks up at him and says, "Two candy bars and a pat on the head."