- I need more money, power, and less SHIT from you people.
- We'll get along fine as soon as you realize I'm God.
- Discourage inbreeding; ban country music.
- Life is short. Don't be a dick.
- Yoo hoo!! Here I am, at the bottom of your purse!
- Starlight Starbright where the hell is Mr. Right
- To some its a six-pack, to me it's a support Group
- I majored in liberal arts, would you like fries w/that.
- I majored in philosophy, would you like fries w/that.
- I want my man to have a VCR: Very Cute Rear
- I have PMS and a gun. Did you have a problem with that!?!
- I'm 17. Give me your credit cards, give me your keys and get out of my way.
- I haven't found Mr Right but I have found Mr Cheap, Mr Sleazy and Mr Wrong
- You're just jealous cause the voices talk to me.
- It's Miss Bitch to you.
- How do you keep an idiot amused? Turn over. . . (on both sides of keychain)
- I suffer from PMS... Putting up with Men's Shit
- If you're rich, I'm single.
- Men suffer from PMS too... Pretending to be Macho Studs
- If you shower in your clothes, it shows you're crazy. If you shower nude, it show's your nuts!!!
- I'm immature, unorganized, irresponsible, lazy, and LOUD... but I'm FUN.
- If you don't like my driving, then get off the sidewalk!
- If it has tires or testicles, it's gonna piss you off. - or - If it has tires or tits, it's gonna piss you off.
- Behind every great man is a great woman, and behind every great woman is some guy staring at her ass!
- Bury me upside down so the world can kiss my ass
- Birthdays only come once a year... aren't you glad you're not a birthday?
- To some it's half empty, To some it's half full. To me it's time for a beer run!
- (Written in really tiny writing) Nosy little fucker, aren't you?
- (This is a visual gag. It's a condom inside plastic with the caption) "In case of emergency, break glass." (What's really funny is in tiny writing underneath) "Not recommended for use"
- I am so broke, I can't even pay attention.
- I am not a BITCH... I am *the* BITCH.
- I was put on this planet to make your life miserable.
- I'm in touch with my inner bitch.
- I am trying to graduate college with a 4.0 (blood alcohol level).
- I do what the voices in my head tell me. Looking for Mr. Right *crossed out* Mr. Wonderful *crossed out* Mr. Coffee!
- Heartbreaker, looking for next victim.
- In God we trust. All others we monitor.
- Not all women are annoying... some are dead.
- The nuns made me dress this way.
- You! Out of the gene pool!
- You must be this tall to ride this ride.
- Moody Bitch; seeking a caring, and understanding guy to dump on.
B.I.T.C.H. = Beautiful Individual That Can Handle anything!
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