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The following list of terms and expressions that I have been told we should start using. It is in the form of what we say versus what we mean:

1. A number of different approaches are being tried. (We are still guessing at this point.) 2. Close project coordination. (We sat down and had coffee.) 3. An extensive report is being prepared on a fresh approach. (We just hired three punk kids out of school.) 4. Major technological breakthrough. (It works OK; but looks very hi-tech.) 5. Customer satisfaction is believed assured. (We are so far behind schedule, that the customer will take anything.) 6. Preliminary operational tests were inconclusive. (The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.) 7. Test results were extremely gratifying! (Unbelievable, it actually worked!) 8. The entire concept will have to be abandoned. (The only guy who understood the thing quit.) 9. It is in process. (It is so wrapped in red tape that the situation is hopeless.) 10.We will look into it. (Forget it! We have enough problems already.) 11.Please not and initial. (Let's spread responsibility for this.) 12.Give us the benefit of your thinking. (We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we have already done or with what we are going to do.) 13.Give us your interpretation. (We can't wait to hear your bull.) 14.See me or let's discuss. (Come to my office, I've screwed up again.) 15.All new. (Parts are not interchangeable with previous design.) 16.Rugged. (Don't plan to lift it without major equipment.) 17.Robust! (Rugged, but more so.) 18.Light weight. (Slightly lighter than rugged.) 19.Years of development. (One finally worked.) 20.Energy saving. (Achieved when the power switch is off.) 21.No maintenance. (Impossible to fix.) 22.Low maintenance. (Nearly impossible to fix.) 23.Fax me the data. (I'm too lazy to write it down.) 24.We are following the standard! (That's the way we have always done it.) 25.I didn't get your e-mail. (I haven't checked my e-mail for days.)


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smiley 5.6 G

submitted: 1+ years ago

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