Elaine B.

A young child is noise with dirt on it. A youth becomes a man when the marks he wants to leave on the world have nothing to do with tires. An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys. Be nice to your kids, for it is they who will choose your nursing home. God invented mothers because he couldn't be everywhere at once. God invented guilt so mothers could be everywhere at once. Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain. If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit down and look comfortable. It rarely occurs to teenagers that the day will come when they'll know as little as their parents. Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

funniness: 6.82

rating: PG