Eric N.

Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary, System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor, Longing for the warmth of bedsheets, Still I sat there, doing spreadsheets: Having reached the bottom line, I took a floppy from the drawer. Typing with a steady hand, I then invoked the SAVE command But got instead a reprimand: it read "Abort, Retry, Ignore" Was this some occult illusion? Some maniacal intrusion? These were choices Solomon himself had never faced before. Carefully, I weighed the options. These three seemed to be the top ones. Clearly, I must now adopt one: Choose Abort, Retry, Ignore... With my fingers pale and trembling Slowly toward the keyboard bending, Longing for a happy ending, hoping all would be restored, Praying for some guarantee Finally I pressed a key -- But on the screen what did I see? Again: "Abort, Retry, Ignore." I tried to catch the chips off-guard -- I pressed again, but twice as hard Luck was just not in the cards. I saw what I had seen before. Now I typed in desperation Trying random combinations Still there came the incantation: Choose: Abort, Retry, Ignore. There I sat, distraught, exhausted by my own machine accosted Getting up I turned away and paced across the office floor. And then I saw an awful sight: A bold and blinding flash of light -- A lightning bolt had cut the night and shook me to my core I saw the screen collapse and die: No No, my database I cried I thought I heard a voice reply, "You'll see your data NEVERMORE!" To this day I do not know The place to which lost data goes I bet it goes to heaven where the angels have it stored. But as for productivity, well I fear that it goes straight to hell And that's the tale I have to tell Your Choice: ABORT, RETRY, IGNORE

funniness: 6.40

rating: PG