Magster T.

"How, you ask, did I get up here to your balcony? Well, I espied you from Yonder garden. In an instant my er, heart was swelled with lust...er, love. I had to meet you! So I ranneth over but tripped on a stone thusly pole-vaulting into your arms." "I've been VERY NAUGHTY. You'll have to put me in the stocks and...er... PUNISH me, now won't you?" "C'mon, sweetie...Didn't your mother ever tell you? A cleric a day keeps the black plague away." "I lost my leg in battle. Guess what I'm walking on!" "Yes, fair maiden, I am indeed a wizard. Shall I make your clothes disappear?" "I'm really a prince cursed by an evil witch. Tell me, do you have sex with frogs?" "My! But you are a beautiful damsel in distress! Allow me to help you out of it." "I seem to have lost my sex slave, can I borrow you for a bit?" "You know, I was once imprisoned in a tower very much like Repunnzel. Only it wasn't my hair that the queen asked me to let down." "I may not be a priest, but I can get you to heaven, m'lady." "Come up to my chamber and I'll show you the largest treasure in the land." "Wanna polish my pike?" "Ello, milady, thou art under siege. I shall scale thy battlements with mine grappling hook!" "My Lady, dost thou possess a looking glass in thine bodice? For I may surely see myself within their folds." "Milady, it's not the size of the wand that matters, but the magic within." "I have the key to your chastity belt and you have the key to my heart." "Your eyes are as dark as a castle moat by midnight. Lower your drawbridge and let me cross." "You should be glad I'm not a Viking. You would have been ravaged and plundered by now." "What's a nice maiden like you doing in a dungeon like this?" "You scratch my boils and I'll scratch yours." "They don't call me Lance-A-Lot for nothing, you know." "My that's a fine set of chalices you have there." "When the Inquisition put me on the rack, my limbs weren't the only thing they stretched."

funniness: 6.48

rating: R