Holly A.

These are taken from real resumes and cover letters. 1. "I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience." 2. "I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor a spreasheet progroms." 3. "Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year." 4. "Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions." 5. "Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave." 6. "Failed bar exam with relatively high grades." 7. "It's best for employers that I not work with people." 8. "Let's meet, so you can 'ooh' and 'aah' over my experience." 9. "You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time." 10. "Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details." 11. "I was working for my mom until she decided to move." 12. "Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No comments." 13. "I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse." 14. "I am loyal to my employer at all costs....Please feel to respond to my resume on my office voice mail." 15. "I have become completely paraniod, trusting completely no one and absolutly nothing." 16. "My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I posess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage." 17. "I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant." 18. "Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far." 19. "As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investmensts." 20. "Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store." 21. "Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job." 22. "Marital status: often. Children: various." 23. "Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 am every morning. I couldn't work under those conditions." 24. "The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers." 25. "Finished eighth in my class of ten."

funniness: 6.52

rating: G