Dave M.

Once upon a time there was a 50-year old woman. This woman wanted to look young again, so she got a face lift. When she got this face lift, it made her look so young, she wanted to impress a few people. So first, the woman went to the post office. She asks the postmaster, "How old do you think I look?" The man replied, "I don't know, maybe like 25?" The woman told him, "I'm exactly 50 years old!" The man complimented her and she left. Next, she went to McDonald's. She asked the kid behind the counter, "How old do you think I look?" The cashier said, "I dunno lady, like...24?" "I'm exactly 50 years old!" the woman exclaimed. The kid complimented her on her looks and she left. Next, the woman went to the library. She walked up to the librarian and asked, "How old do you think I look?" The librarian replied, "You look like you are 25, ma'am." The woman shouted, "I'm exactly 50 years old!" The librarian told her how great she looked and the woman left. So by now, the woman was feeling pretty confident in herself, but she wanted to go home. So, she boarded the bus to go home. She looked around, and the bus was empty, other than herself, the bus driver, and an old man sitting across the aisle from herself. She turned to the old man, wanting to impress him with her looks, and asked, "How old do you think I look?" The man turned to her and said, "Ma'am, I'm not as young as I used to be, and my eyes don't work so well anymore." The woman sighed, "Ohhh..." Then, the old man said, "However, there is ONE way I can tell your age." The woman was curious. "Well...what is it?" The old man leaned in close and said, "Well, I have to feel your breasts." The woman looked around, and saw there was no one there to watch, and anyways, she was feeling just SO confident with herself. "...Ok." She answered. So the old man cradled her and cupped her, squeezing and squishing, weighing them out, dividing them, and just basically being a 14-year old boy again. He sat and thought for a moment, then after a long silence said, "Lemme guess...You're exactly 50 years old!" "Wow!" The woman shouted. "Wow, you're right!" She sat there, astonished, then said, "How did you know?" The man sniffed and said, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."

funniness: 9.23

rating: PG-13