umi n.

A sailor met a pirate in a bar, and the sailor could'nt help but notice that the pirate was in pretty bad shape. he had a glass eye, a peg leg and a hook hand. so the sailor asked the pirate how he got his peg leg. "I got washed overboard during a fierce storm and something bit me leg off!" then the sailor asked how he got his hook hand. "i was in a fight with my crew mate and he took out his dagger and chopped me hand off!" and finally the sailor asked how the pirate got his glass eye. "a seagull flew overhead and pooped in me eye!" and the sailor said "you mean you lost an eye because a seagull pooped in it?" "well it was the first day with me hook."