Jordan C.

Little Johnny was sitting in the kitchen while his parents were fighting. They called each other bitches and bastards. Johnny asked what the words meant. His parents said they meant ladies and men. Then Johnny walked outside and saw a young couple having sex in a parked car. The girl, said "Stick your dick in my vagina!" He went inside and asked his parents what those words meant. His parents said they meant hat and coat. The next day was Thanksgiving. His dad was in the bathroom shaving. He cut himself and yelled, "Shit!" Johnny asked what it meant, and his dad said it meant shaving cream. After that, he went into the kitchen. His mom was carving the turkey, and she cut herself and yelled "FUCK!" Johnny asked what the word meant, and she said it meant "carving the turkey." When the guests arrived, Johnny said: "Welcome, bitches and bastards. May I take your dicks and vaginas? Dad's in the bathroom wiping shit off of his face and mom is in the kitchen fucking the turkey. Happy Thanksgiving!"

Moral of story: Parents DO lie.

funniness: 7.75

rating: PG-13