jamie g.

A family of three was having company over for Thanksgiving. Bored, the little boy, Johnny, walked outside the house and overheard this part of a conversation between his neighbors: "Put your penis in my vagina." Johnny returned to the house and went straight to his parents' room. "Daddy, what's a penis and vagina?" "Well, Johnny, a penis is a coat and a vagina is a hat," his father explained, not wanting his little son learning about the true meanings. Wandering around the house, he reached his mother in the kitchen cutting the turkey. All of a sudden, she cut herself and yelled "fuck!" Curious, Johnny asked her the meaning. "Well, Johnny, a fuck is a way to cut a turkey." A few minutes later, Johnny found his father in the bathroom shaving. He cut himself, and yelled "shit!" "Daddy, what's a shit?" he asked. "Well, Johnny, shit is shaving cream." Later, their expected company rang the doorbell, leaving Johnny to answer the door. Wanting to sound mature, he reused his learned words. "Welcome to our house, ladies and gentlemen. If you would please hand me your penises and vaginas, my father is wiping the shit off his face and my mother is fucking the turkey!"

funniness: 6.94

rating: R