Funny.com. Work in progress... In the meantime, here are 10 random funny stuff for you:

John V.

One morning, an old lady goes to the grocery store to buy cat food for her little cat. She looks around and picks the most expensive kind of cat food. As she approaches the cashier, she tells her, "Nothing but the best for my little kitty." The clerk tells the old lady that she can't sell her the cat food because a lot of old people buy cat food to eat it. She then tells the old lady that she needs proof that she has a cat. So the old lady goes home, takes her cat, and drags it to the store. Once the clerk sees that the old lady actually has a cat, she sells her the cat food. The next day, the old lady goes to the grocery store again this time to buy dog food. She looks around and picks the most expensive kind of dog food. As she approaches the cashier, she tells her, "Nothing but the best for my little puppy." The clerk tells the old lady that she can't sell her the dog food because a lot of old people buy dog food to eat it. She then tells the old lady that she needs proof that she has a dog. So the old lady, who is now very frustrated, goes home, takes her dog, and drags it to the store. Once the clerk sees that the old lady actually has a dog, she sells her the dog food. The next day the old lady goes back to the grocery store with a jar in her hands. The jar is covered with old newspapers and it has a little hole at the top. The old lady goes directly to the clerk and politely asks the clerk to stick her finger in. The clerk immediately refuses because she is afraid that the old lady has a snake inside. The old lady assures the clerk that there is nothing in the jar that will bite her. So the clerk sticks her finger inside the jar and feels around. She tells the old lady that whatever is inside, is very soft and mushy. The old lady now tells the clerk to take her finger out, and smell it. The clerk does what she is told. As soon as she begins to smell her finger, she starts to yell. She told the old lady that the jar is full of crap and her finger smells like shit. The old lady, with a smile from one ear to the other, tells the clerk, "Very well. Now Do you think I can buy three rolls of toilet paper?"

funniness: 8.00

rating: PG

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Kobi M.

This one guy has a wife who he's shared great sex with for years. He decides that to check if his wife really is the sex godess he believes her to be, and decides to have sex with 5 of the best whores in the area to see if they are better or worse than his wife. The first whore isn't even close, and the 2nd, 3rd and 4th whores aren't either. By the time the man reaches the 5th whore, he's confident that his wife really is the best at sex. He goes to the whore house, gets directed to a room and enters. While getting undressed, the whore asks him,"Do I know you? You look familiar to me". The man thinks to himself, I've never been here before...Then he remembers that his twin brother is still single and probably comes to these kinds of places a lot. So he says, "No, it's probably my twin brother you recognize." The whore shrugs, and they start to do their thing. The man can't believe how good the sex is. He thinks to himself, WOW, this whore is MUCH better than my wife is, I guess she isn't the best after all. After they finish, and start dressing up, the man says to the whore, "My wife, Rose, is unbelievable at sex, but I admit, you are MUCH better." The whore smiles and says, "Your brother said the same thing."

funniness: 8.50

rating: R

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jenny m.

Redneck Bubba died in a fire and was burnt pretty bad and the morgue needed someone to identify the body. So his two best friends Daryl and Gomer were sent for. Daryl went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Daryl said, "Yup, he's burnt real bad, roll 'im over." The mortician rolled him over and Daryl looked and said, "nope, tain't Bubba." The mortician thought that was rather strange. Then he brought Gomer in to identify the body. Gomer took a look at him and said "Yup, he's burnt real bad, roll 'im over." The mortician rolled him over, Gomer took a look and said..... " no, tain't Bubba." The mortician, whose curiosity had gotten the better of him asked, "How can you tell?" Gomer said "Well, Bubba had two assholes." "What?" exclaimed the mortician. "He had two assholes?" "Yup, everyone in town knew he had two assholes" "Ever' time we went to town, folks would all say, "Here comes Bubba with them two assholes."

funniness: 8.36

rating: PG

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tharki t.

The Banker saw his old friend Tom, an eighty year old rancher,in town. Tom had lost his wife a year or so before and rumor had it that he was marrying a 'Mail Order Bride.' Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom if the rumor was true. Tom assured him that it was. The banker then asked Tom 'How Old' the new bride to be was. Tom proudly said, "She'll be twenty one in November." Now the banker, being the wise man that he was, could see that the sexual appetite of a young woman could not be satisfied by an eighty year old man. Wanting his old friends remaining years to be happy, the banker tactfully suggested that Tom should consider getting a hired hand to help him out on the ranch, knowing nature would take it's course. Tom thought this was a good idea and said he would look for one that afternoon. About four months later, the banker ran into Tom in town again. "How's the new wife?" asked the banker. Tom proudly said, "She's pregnant!" The banker, happy that his sage advice had worked out, continued, "And how's the hired hand." Without hesitating, Tom said, "She's pregnant, too!"

funniness: 8.29

rating: PG-13

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shy g.

The Horny Mouse A mouse was setting in a bar having a drink when a beautiful giraffe came in and sat down at the end of the bar. The mouse looked over at her and ordered her a drink. Soon he had moved down beside her and ordered her another drink. After a third round, the bartender looked up and they were leaving the bar together. The next day the mouse limped into the bar, barely crawled up on the Bar stool and sat there gasping for air. His whiskers were bent and Broken, tail was crooked and patches of hair were falling out. The bartender took one look and said, 'How did it go last night?' The mouse said, ‘Man that was the best sex I ever had.' The bartender asked, 'Why do you look so bad?' The mouse replied, 'Hey between the kissing and the screwing I must Have run 10 miles!'

funniness: 8.22

rating: PG-13

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Moe R.

funniness: 8.26

rating: PG

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Alexandra C.

funniness: 9.91

rating: PG

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Moe R.

funniness: 9.45

rating: PG-13

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Moe R.

funniness: 9.53

rating: G

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Moe R.

funniness: 8.45

rating: PG

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