jim b.

1. A nun walks onto a bus, whick is empty apart from her and the driver. The nun says to the driver "I'm going to die soon and i want three wishes to be fulfilled before my time comes. Firstly i would like to have sex, but i must die a virgin so it must be anal. Secondly i cannot commit adultery so the bloke i sleep with must be single. Finally, the bloke has to be a stranger and must not tell anyone else. The bus driver thinks for a moment and then says " i could be that bloke." After they have anal sex in the back of the bus the driver says " I'm terribly sorry, sister. I've actually got a wife and three kids." "never mind" says the nun "i lied too. My names Kevin and i'm on my way to a fancy dress party." @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ 2. A bloke goes to a doctors surgery for his annual check-up. During the check-up the doctor notices the blokes yellow penis. "do you work with chemicals" the doctor asked. "no i don't, i'm unemployed" "do you smoke?" the doctor then asks "no i don't smoke. I just sit at home all day watching porno films and eating wotsits. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ 3. George and his new blonde girlfriend are walking down a moonlit beack. He then asks her to close her eyes. He puts her hand on his penis, to which she retorts " no thanks, i dont smoke.

funniness: 7.04

rating: PG-13