Funny.com. Work in progress... In the meantime, here are 10 random funny stuff for you:

Dick C.

Theres a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead, and they're all running from the cops. They run to an old barn and hide in potato sacks. The cop chasing them walks into the barn looking for them. He kicks the first sack, with the redhead inside, and the redhead says "Arf arf!" The cop thinks it's a dog, so walks to the next one. He kicks the second bag, with the brunette, and she says "Meow, meow." The cop thinks it's a cat, and moves on. He kicks the third bag, with the blonde, and the blonde yells "Potato, potato!" Theres a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead and they're all stranded on an island exactly 20 miles from the mainland. They have no cell phones, and no means of communications with anyone else. So the redhead decides to try to swim back to the mainland, and she gets 5 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The brunette decides she's gonna try, and she swims 10 miles, gets tired, and drowns. Then the blonde decides she's gonna try to swim back, and she swims 19 miles, gets tired, and swims back to the island. There's a blonde driving along the highway, and all the sudden she starts swerving from side to side on the road. A cop pulls her over, and says "Maam, you were swerving from side to side on the road. Have you been drinking?" The blonde says "No, officer. But i saw a tree in front of me, and i swerved to get out of the way. Then i saw another tree, right where i swerved. So i swerved the opposite direction. But then there was another tree! Good thing i stopped, or i would've eventually hit one." The cop says "Maam, that's your air freshener." Theres a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They are lost in the woods, with no way to find their way back. They find a genie, and the genie says "Since there are 3 of you, i'll give you each 1 wish." The brunette says "i wish i was home." and she disappears. The redhead says "i wish i was home." and she disappears. The blonde says "it's really lonely now. I wish my friends came back." 911 gets a call from a panicked blonde, shouting "MY HOUSE IS ON FIRE! MY HOUSE IS ON FIRE!" The 911 operator says "Now calm down, maam, how do we get to your house?" The blonde says "Duh, big red truck!"

funniness: 8.56

rating: G

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Moe R.

They will never catch me!

funniness: 8.59

rating: G

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V C.

"I am a Yankees fan," a first-grade teacher explains to her class. "Who likes the Yankees?" Everyone raises a hand except one girl. "Janie," the teacher says, surprised. "Why didn't you raise your hand?" "I am not a Yankees fan." "Well, if you are not a Yankees fan, then what team do you like?" "The Red Sox," Janie answers. "Why in the world are you a Red Sox fan?" "Because my mom and dad are." "That's no reason to be a Red Sox fan," the teacher replies, annoyed. "You don't always have to be just like your parents. What if you mom and dad were morons? What would you be then?" "A Yankees fan."

funniness: 8.74

rating: PG

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Nonya B.

How Smart Is Your Right Foot? Trust me try this, it takes only few seconds. This is so funny that it will boggle your mind. And, you will keep trying it at least 50 more times to see if you can outsmart your foot. But you can't!!! 1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles with it. 2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.. Your foot will change direction!!! I told you so.. And there is nothing you can do about it. Make sure you pass this on to your friends... They won't be able to believe it either!!! *~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~

=)

funniness: 8.24

rating: G

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Vasiliy O.

His parents better have thick walls...

funniness: 8.44

rating: G

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Eric P.

funniness: 9.59

rating: PG

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bart30 a.

funniness: 8.42

rating: R

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Moe R.

funniness: 9.75

rating: PG

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Moe R.

emergency-call BELIEVE it or not , These are REAL 911 Calls! Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency? Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner. Dispatcher: Do you have an address? Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why? Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency? Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich . Dispatcher: Excuse me? Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it. Dispatcher: Was anything else taken? Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I?m sick and tired of it! Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency? Caller: I?m trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn?t have an eleven on it. Dispatcher: This is nine eleven. Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one Dispatcher: Yes, ma?am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing. Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I?m not stupid. My Personal Favorite!!! Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What?s the nature of your emergency? Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart Dispatcher: Is this her first child? Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband! And the winner is???. Dispatcher: 9-1-1 Caller: Yeah, I?m having trouble breathing. I?m all out of breath. Darn?.I think I?m going to pass out. Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from? Caller: I?m at a pay phone. North and Foster. Dispatcher: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic? Caller: No Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing? Caller: Running from the Police.

funniness: 9.62

rating: PG

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Moe R.

funniness: 9.48

rating: G

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