Chris M.

There was a poor man who lived on the street, and one day he won 10 million pounds on the lottery. The first thing he did was to go and buy a Rolls-Royce. Feeling happy, he was driving down the motorway in his new car when a police car drove past. The policeman looked at the car, then looked at the driver. Since the car was the first thing the tramp had bought, and he hadn't yet got around to buying some smart clothes, he still looked like a tramp. The policeman noticed this and pulled him over onto the hard shoulder. "You don't look like the sort of person who could afford such a great car," said the policeman. "I have a strong suspicion that you stole it." "No," replied the tramp, "it's my car." "Get out of the car," said the policeman. The tramp obliged. The policeman took a piece of chalk out of his pocket and drew a circle on the road, a few metres from the car. "Right, I want you to stand in that chalk circle and don't move from there. I want you to admit that this isn't your car." "Officer, It IS my own car." "If you don't admit to having stolen it, I'm going to scratch the paintwork." The tramp didn't say anything, so the policeman turned around, took his keys out of his pocket and proceeded to gauge deep scratches in the paintwork all around the car. He looked at the tramp. "What do you think of THAT then!" The policeman was puzzled to see that the tramp had a big grin on his face. "If you admit that you stole this car then you won't spend as much time in prison. If you don't admit it, then I'll slash the tyres." The tramp said nothing so the policeman took out a knife and slashed all four tyres. When he looked back at the tramp he saw that he was giggling--most odd. "Right," said the policeman, quite angry now. "I'll give you one last chance. YOU STOLE THE CAR DIDN'T YOU! If you don't admit it I'm going to trash the Rolls-Royce." "No officer, it's my car." Furious, the policeman opened the boot and took out a can of petrol. He poured petrol all over the seats, took out a match and threw it into the window. The car went up in flames. The policeman turned back to find the tramp doubled over in laughter. "Okay, now I KNOW that it's not you car. If it was your car you wouldn't be laughing like this, after I've just destroyed it." "I maintain that it's my own car, officer," said the tramp between giggles. "I just won the lottery and I decided to treat myself." "But why the hell are you laughing though???" "Because," said the tramp, hardly able to get the words out between gasps of laughter, "every time you turned around, I jumped out of the circle!"

funniness: 4.94

rating: G