Funny.com. Work in progress... In the meantime, here are 10 random funny stuff for you:

Adam G.

Restroom Poetry The following are poems found inscribed in public restrooms: Here I lie in stinky vapor, Because some bastard stole the paper, Shall I lie, or shall I linger, Or shall I be forced to use my finger. Here I sit Broken hearted, Paid a dime And only farted Here I sit What a caper I have to shit But I'm out of paper You're lucky You had your chance I tried to fart, And shat my pants! Some people come here to take a shit, I came here to leave one. Some come here to sit and think, Some come here to shit and stink, But I come here to scratch my balls, And read the bullshit on the walls... Here I sit, I'm at a loss trying to shit out taco sauce. When it comes, I hope and pray, that I don't blow my ass away. (Written high up on the wall) If you can piss above this line, the Hillsboro Fire Department wants you. (Seen above a urinal) Please do not throw cigarette butts in our urinal. We don't piss in your ashtrays! (Scratched into the paint of the condom-dispensing machine) "Don't buy this gum, it tastes like rubber." (Under a sign that said: "Employees Must Wash Hands") I waited and waited, but I finally washed them myself. Thanks for reading my poetry! Please vote.

funniness: 8.42

rating: PG-13

Permalink...

LAURA G.

An airline's passenger cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served them food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came Swishing down the aisle and announced to the passengers, "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super." On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed a well-dressed rather exotic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines. I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground." She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess. I take orders from no one." To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up, Bitch."

funniness: 8.52

rating: PG

Permalink...

Leslie A.

A guy bought a new Mercedes and was out on highway 2 for a nice evening drive. the top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 140Km/h he suddenly saw red and blue flashing lights behind him. "There's no way they can catch a Mercedes, "he thought to himself and opened her up further. the needle hit 150,160... Then the reality of the situation hit him. " what in the world am I doing?" he thought and pulled over. The cop came up to him took his license without a word and examined it and the car." It's been a long day,"said the cop "this is the end of the shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like doing anymore paper work, so if can give me an excuse for your driving that i haven't heard before, you can go." They guy thinks for a second and says," last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back." Have a nice weekend," said the officer

funniness: 8.83

rating: PG

Permalink...

James L.

funniness: 8.59

rating: PG

Permalink...

Moe R.

funniness: 10.00

rating: PG-13

Permalink...

Moe R.

funniness: 8.45

rating: PG-13

Permalink...

Moe R.

funniness: 8.88

rating: PG

Permalink...

Kate H.

A man walked into the ladies department of Myer's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife." "What type of bra?" asked the clerk. "Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?" "Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, colour and material imaginable. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from ." Relieved, the man asked about the types. The saleslady replied: "There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?" The man asked about the differences between them. The Saleslady responded, "It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses; The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen; The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright; The Baptist type makes mountains out of molehills." * * * * * Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes? It is about time you became informed! {A} Almost Boobs {B} Barely there {C} Can't Complain! {D} Dang! {DD} Double dang! {E} Enormous! {F} Fake {G} Get a Reduction {H} Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up! Then there's the German bra: Holtzemfromfloppen

funniness: 8.65

rating: PG

Permalink...

Moe R.

Worldwide Survey A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure... In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.

funniness: 9.19

rating: G

Permalink...

Moe R.

funniness: 8.37

rating: PG

Permalink...