veggie e.

There are three people trying to get into heaven one night: two twins who are incredibly good at bicycling and the Queen of England. They are all lined up at the pearly gates when an angel greets them. He says, "Well, I'm going to be honest with you. Heaven is really full these days and so we have a new rule that we can only let in one out of every three people that arrive here." He then explains that he will make an exception since the two bicycling experts are twins. He tells them that if one twin gets in, the other will automatically get in as well. Everyone agrees to this, so they proceed. The angel says, "Look, normally we have everyone talk about what a nice person they are and decide who gets in based on that, but everyone always lies anyway, so I'm going to try a new thing today. Each of you can ask for one object and then, using that, just show me what you can do." The twins are very psyched at this point because they know that their biking skills are AMAZING, so they agree to go first. They each ask for (of course) a bicycle. Then, they begin with the most fantastic display of bicycle tricks anyone has ever seen. Their performance even strikes the angel as good! He smiles and says, "Boys, that was amazing! I'd say you have a good chance of getting in." Very pleased with themselves the twins then sit down to watch the queen go. She, most unexpectedly, asks for a port-a-potty! Bemused, the angel gives it to her and she simply walks in, flushing the toilet once, and struts out, looking extremely pleased with herself. At this the angel says, "OK, I've reached my decision. I'm letting the queen into Heaven!" The twins are outraged! They immediately begin to protest, saying that the only reason the queen was let in was because she was famous and powerful and that what they did was by far more amazing then her performance. The angel quickly quiets them, saying sagely and serenely, "Gentlemen, Gentlemen, surely you know that a pair of bicycle aces will ALWAYS lose to a royal flush!"

funniness: 3.20