John S.

Stanford: The fanciest new BMW, which isn't really very special, just costs a lot. Drives it to their conferences. Cal: The newest most cost effective hybrid. Drives it wearing their peace necklace and tie-dye shirt on their way to hug trees. UCLA: Drives a hybrid SUV with a surfboard on top on their way to the beach. Usually has lots of girls who are half plastic in the back. USC:Drives an Escalade and boasts that it's bigger and more expensive, when all it's doing is killing the trees that the Cal drivers try so hard to save.

funniness: 3.83

rating: PG