Jackie E.

Here are some fun things to do at the mall. Note* To maximize effect of said actions, wear a blue bandanna, tight short shorts, and a shirt with Spongebob Squarepants' face on it. 1. Go down the up escalator and start yelling angrily when you realize that you aren't moving. 2. Get on an escalator, then wait until there's a lot of people behind you. Trip and fall at the bottom or top and don't get up. 3. Go to a vending machine and order a can of soda. Then take it out, shake it up, and leave it in the machine and wait until someone comes. 4. Play hide-and-seek Mall edition. Get two of your friends and make sure everyone has cell phones. Have one person hide and then have the hider call the seekers and give them a clue as to where he is hiding. Then, run around while talking on your cell phone so you look like you came out of the Matrix movie. 5. Go around making odd realizations. (Ex. "Oh my God! The pepsi cans are blue, and coke cans are red! BUT THEY'RE THE SAME!) Talk very oud when you do this. 6. Walk around acting like a zombie(Limp, moan). BONUS Get your friends to come and see how big of a crowd you can make! 7. Wait until the holidays(Christmas, Easter) and take a picture with the mascot. Then run around the mall showing everyone. 8. Sit by the fountain and pretend to fall in. Then refuse to get out. 9. Go into a very fancy store(tux store, jewelry) and repeatedly ask where they keep the pretzels, with growing impatience. 10. Find a massage chair in the mall and use it. When you're done start screaming that they ruined you're back. When someone asks you if you're okay, run away as fast as you can. 11. Go near a bathroom and then ask someone where it is. When they point it out to you, give them a dirty look and walk away. 12. Go to a clothing store and buy clothes that is for the opposite sex and is 10x too big for you. Return it in 20 minutes, saying that you weren't quite "feeling it". 13. Go into a bathroom and stay there for half of a second, then run out as fast as you can. 14. Go to the mall dressed as a famous villain(Ex. Darth Vader) and ask people if they wanna play Patty Cake. 15. Go into a small store. Go to a corner of the store and rub your hands together saying "Excellent" over and over. See how long you can go for without getting kicked out. 16. Pretend to have a tantrum in the middle of the mall where everyone can see you. 17. Go to the TV section in a store and watch TV all day. 18. Walk around with a video camera asking people if they were involved in the Kennedy shooting. 19. Find a bench with someone sitting on it. Sit on the opposite end as them. Slowly inch your way closer to them until your touching them. 20. Follow someone around the mall while eating a pretzel. Never move the pretzel away from your mouth. Just keep taking bites, watching them and following them. Well, that's everything. Try them out, and have fun!

funniness: 7.89

rating: PG