Funny.com. Work in progress... In the meantime, here are 10 random funny stuff for you:

Kelly O.

1. Ask the cashiers where they get the red vests. 2. Ask a random passerby for 20 $. 3. Look around aimlessly and when an employee tries to help you scream at the top of your lungs "OH NO! NOT YOU AGAIN!!!!" 4. Look around the motor department muttering to yourself about what would work best to kill a cashier. 5. Pretend you're Elmer Fudd. 6. Get a hat and write 'tips' on it and start singing loudly. 7. When someone tips you, start singing I LOVE YOU, CUZ U TIPPED ME WE'RE A HAPPY FAMILY WITH A GREAT BIG HUG AND A KISS FROM ME TO YOU, WON'T YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME TO! 8. Chew on a carrot and hop around the store. 9. Try to stuff things into your pockets when employees are around and mutter that your pockets aren't big enough. 10. Sit at a cashier station and pretend to check people in. 11. In the electronics department, pound on the doors screaming "I'll bust you out!!!" 12. Go to a regular door (not automatic) and pound on it screaming "LET ME OUT OF THIS HELL HOLE!" 13. If you are a man walk around the store with a purse. 14. If you are a woman, go through the men's department saying "This would look great on me!" 15. When an employee asks you if you would rather go to the women's department, say "Just what are you trying to say?" 16. If they call security, say "NO! Don't make me go back there!!!" 17. If they ask you if you are okay, say "Yes, the nice men in white suits said that I was." 18. If they ask who the nice men in white suits were, just smile. 19. Go over to the food department and scream ITS ALL POISENED!!! 20. Go into the deoderant department and, when there is a bunch of people there, say "I don't know why this stuff is so popular. I don't wear any." 21. When people walk away from you, run after them. 22. Pick out a person and follow them through the store. 23. If you find a stray cart, try to hit the person you are following with it. 24. If you don't find a cart, take random things off the shelves and throw that at them. 25. If they tell you to stop, just smile. 26. Whistle into their ear. 27. If you find balloons, find an unsuspecting person and pop a balloon in their ear. 28. If you find confetti, run through the store throwing it on people singing "Happy Birthday to you!" 29. Get some flowers, cry and pretend to win an oscar. 30. Get some gum and chew really loudly in someone's ear. 31. Go up to someone and say O my gosh, you're really ugly aren't you. 32. Try to run people down with shopping carts. Extra points for kids. 33. When you are finished with your gum, stick it in someone's hair. 34. Walk around the store singing 'I'm too sexy for my shirt' over and over. 35. Walk around the store muttering to yourself. 36. Put on a dress and walk around the store doing the Can-Can. Extra points if you are a man. 37. If they try to throw you out, say "No, not the light! It burns!" 38. Pretend you are gay. 39. Skip while holding hands with someone. 40. Get a broom and fly around the store. 41. Find someone and say to them "I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! *evil laugh*" 42. Stalk someone.

funniness: 8.09

rating: PG

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kristin p.

An Italian man wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test. "Here's your first question," the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9." "Without numbers?" the Italian says, "Data easy." and he proceeds to draw three trees. "What's this?" the boss asks. "Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make a nine," says the Italian. "Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99." The Italian stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "Ere you go." The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?" "Each of da trees isa dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99." The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Italian, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100." The Italian stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere you go. One hundred." The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!" (You're going to love this one!!!) The Italian leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, "A little doga came along and crapa by eacha tree. So now you gota dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, data makea one hundred. So, when I'm a gonna start?"

funniness: 8.53

rating: PG

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Toni W.

There were these three farmers that wanted to win the state fair contest for having the largest hog. They decide that they should stick a cork in the pigs ass and feed him for a month before the fair. The only problem was that none of them wanted to be the one to stick the cork in. So they bought a monkey and trained him to stick corks in bottles. After a week or two of this, they stick the monkey in the pen with the pig and a cork, and after a minute, the monkey did what he was supposed to do. The farmers fed the pig for a month and sure enough, they won first prize. Once they got home, they realized they still had to take the cork out. So they trained this same monkey to take corks out of bottles. They stuck the monkey in the pen with the pig, and the farmers woke up three days later in the hospital with a reporter sitting next to them. The reporter asked the first farmer, "What is the last thing you remember?" "Shit flying everywhere," the farmer replied. The reporter asked the second farmer the same question and got the same response. When she got to the third farmer and asked him what he could remember, he started crying. The reporter asked, "What's the matter?" The farmer replied, "The last thing I remember is the look on the poor monkey's face as he tried to stick the cork back in."

funniness: 8.22

rating: PG

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Timothy H.

A man walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch. As the bartender pours the drink, he remarks, "That?s quite a heavy drink. What?s wrong?" After quickly downing his drink, the man replies, "I found my wife in bed with my best friend." "Wow," says the barkeep. "What?d you do?" "I walked over to my wife," the man replies, "looked her straight in the eye, and told her to pack her stuff and get the hell out." "That makes sense," says the bartender. "And what about your best friend?" "I walked over, looked him right in the eye, and yelled, ?Bad dog!?"

funniness: 8.06

rating: PG

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Moe R.

funniness: 8.28

rating: PG-13

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Vasiliy O.

funniness: 9.85

rating: G

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Moe R.

funniness: 9.17

rating: PG

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Moe R.

funniness: 8.72

rating: PG-13

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Jefferson J.

Scary...

funniness: 8.66

rating: PG

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Kim L.

I've got just one thing to say to the Firefighter who did this . . . "That's the attitude I want if my house is on fire!!"

funniness: 10.00

rating: PG

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