Funny.com. Work in progress... In the meantime, here are 10 random funny stuff for you:

Lin Z.

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa." Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay," says the lawyer, "your turn". She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00. The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

funniness: 8.34

rating: G

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Virginia M.

The old farmer had a large pond in the back, fixed up nicely with picnic tables, a barbecue pit, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built. One evening, the old guy decided to go down to the pond and look it over. He hadn't been there for a while. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. As he approached, he made the women aware of his presence. At once, they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave." The old man frowned, "I did not come down here to watch you young ladies swim naked, or to make you get out of the pond naked." Holding up the bucket, he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator." Moral: Old men can still think fast!

funniness: 8.49

rating: PG

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jenny m.

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss But I only slept with you, because I was pissed. I thought that I could love no other Until, that is, I met your brother. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head. Of loving beauty you float with grace If only you could hide your face. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot; This describes everything you are not. I want to feel your sweet embrace But don't take that paper bag off of your face. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes Damn, I'm good at telling lies! My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife: Marrying you screwed up my life. I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why I always wake up screaming. My love, you take my breath away. What have you stepped in to smell this way? My feelings for you no words can tell, Except for maybe "go to hell". What inspired this amorous rhyme? Two parts vodka, one part lime

funniness: 8.51

rating: PG

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Joe N.

1. Express yourself. It makes us proud, even if someone thinks you're wrong. 2. You look hot in running shoes and shorts. And that top thingy with the stripes. 3. Bare, tan shoulders are underrated. 4. If you think I?m speeding now, you should see me drive when you're not in the car. 5. If you're truly interested in us, don't play hard to get. 6. Shopping is a chore, not an activity. 7. When I screw up, go ahead and tell me--once. 8. No question need ever be asked through a closed bathroom door if I'm inside. I love you less with each syllable you utter. 9. I'm hot for you, not your sister or your friend or your coworker. 10. My guy friends. Not only are they not negotiable, they?re your best sign that I?m not a whack job. 11. Don't be afraid to ditch the makeup. Natural is sexier. 12. Leave the eyebrows alone. Plucked ain't pretty. 13. You can have sex with us any time you want. Seriously. 14. When the game is on, we will pay attention to you if you're nice about it. Bark, and we shut down. 15. I don't ask for directions because I?m just happy to be driving. Anywhere. 16. Masturbation is merely practice for the big game. Encourage it. 17. We crave hugs and hand-holding too. And no, it doesn't always have to lead to sex. 18. But you can have sex with us any time you want. Did we mention that? 19. There's no better sound in the world than you, having an orgasm. 20. Though the exhaust note of a Porsche Boxster is pretty damn fine, too. 21. I just may lie to make you feel good. Don?t be angry about this. You really weren't looking for the truth anyway. 22. When you get angry over some stupid little pointless thing, I question your intelligence. 23. You?re really bad at faking it. 24. If I offer my help while you're getting ready, it means you?re late. 25. Never ask me to pick out your outfit. (See above.) I will invariably get it wrong and make us even more late. 26. Giving me two or three choices, however, can be fun. Assuming you will change outfits in front of me. Slowly. 27. Err on the side of hot; I love to show you off. 28. Unless we're meeting my parents. 29. When you call us at work "just to chat," we're not really listening; we're checking our e-mail. 30. Spring means baseball and skirts. Doesn't need to be a mini-skirt; it's been a long winter. 31. Chicks who drink beer are hot. Better yet: chicks who drink beer and watch the game. Better still: chicks who buy us a beer during the game. 32. We don't mind being told we look good. Just don't call it a "cute outfit." 33. We love ponytails. 34. Being good in bed means a) enthusiasm; b) a sense of humor; and sometimes c) patience. 35. The first time? We're as nervous as you are. 36. A random unexpected grope is always welcome, even in public. Especially in public. 37. Make us laugh and we'll want to hang around. 38. Yes, I laugh really loud around the guys. And I always will, so deal. 39. Sure, men stereotypically like to solve a woman's problems. But a woman who solves her own while we watch? Instant erection. 40. You can pick the movie, but have a reason. 41. Do not expect to have a conversation via text message unless you use the words "naked" and "waiting." 42. Sometimes we wonder why any woman would want to be with us, much less someone as amazing as you. So, thanks. 43. Anytime you cook for us, we're happy. 44. If you can hit a golf ball 150 yards, we just might fall in love. 45. No, I don't remember what he said next. Or she. Or anybody, for that matter. I'm a guy, not a tape recorder. 46. We love you even more because you know we need to go out with the guys once in a while. 47. And we love it when you hang with us guys, too. 48. We have a keen sense of imminent danger. It sounds like, "Do you think she's pretty?" 49. Don't rely on us for keeping you up on the news. 50. Never say, "I know you better than you know yourself." Nobody does.

funniness: 9.02

rating: PG-13

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Moe R.

funniness: 8.32

rating: R

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Moe R.

funniness: 8.88

rating: PG-13

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Ronnie D.

thats one nice pair of panties

funniness: 9.00

rating: R

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Moe R.

funniness: 9.71

rating: PG

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Mike J.

Hope he is de-clawed

funniness: 8.33

rating: PG-13

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Moe R.

funniness: 9.97

rating: PG-13

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