Funny.com. Work in progress... In the meantime, here are 10 random funny stuff for you:

Anabel L.

1. Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose," into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer from diarrhea." 2. Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux." 3. Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick", a curling iron, into German only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the "manure stick." 4. When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the U.S., with the beautiful Caucasian baby on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the label of what's inside, since most people can't read. 5. Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious porno magazine. 6. An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I saw the Pope" (el Papa), the shirts read "I saw the potato" (la papa). 7. Pepsi's "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" translated into "Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave", in Chinese. 8. Frank Perdue's chicken slogan, "it takes a strong man to make a tender chicken" was translated into Spanish as "it takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate." 9. The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as "Ke-kou-ke-la", meaning "Bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax", depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 characters to find a phonetic equivalent "ko-kou-ko-le", translating into "happiness in the mouth." 10. When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to have read, "it won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you". Instead, the company thought that the word "embarazar" (to impregnate) meant to embarrass, so the ad read: "It won't leak in your pocket and make you pregnant."

funniness: 8.14

rating: PG

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Romi S.

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules: "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want-and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?" His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not." Marriage (Part II) Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary! The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever.' "Yeah? " she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, "Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last.'" Marriage (Part III) Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house. After sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "what took you so long to ans wer the phone?" She says, "I was in bed." "In bed this early, doing what?" "Getting a second opinion!" Marriage (Part IV) A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of six?" His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."

funniness: 9.01

rating: PG

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eric h.

A man joined a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he took off his clothes and started to wander around the area. A gorgeous petite blonde walked by, and the man immediately got an erection.The woman noticed his erection, came over to him and asked, did you call for me?" The man replied, "No, what do you mean?" She said, "You must be new here. Let me explain. It's a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called for me." Smiling, she lead him to the side of the swimming pool, laid down on a towel eagerly pulled him to her and happily let him have his way with her. Later, the man continued to explore the colony's facilities. He entered the sauna and as he sat down, he farted. Within seconds a huge, hairy man lumbered out of the steam room toward him. "Did you call for me?" asked the hairy man. "No, what do you mean?" replied the newcomer. "You must be new." answered the hairy man, "It's a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for me." The huge man easily spun him around, put him over a bench and had his way with the newcomer. The newcomer staggered back to the colony office where he was greeted by a smiling, naked receptionist, "May I help you?" she asked. "Here's my membership card. You can have the key back and you can keep the $500 membership fee." "But, Sir," she replied, "you've only been here a few hours. You haven't had a chance to see all our facilities." "Listen lady, I'm 68 years old. I only get an erection once a month, but I fart 15 times a day. I'm outta here."

funniness: 9.34

rating: R

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Paul B.

The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this very tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you. "Yes, she says, "I remember it well." "OK," he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?" "Oh Charlie, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!" A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them. The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern an make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in. Then suddenly, they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground. The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know. After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The Policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing. I've got to ask them what their secret is. So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?" Shaking the old man is barely able to reply, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence.

funniness: 9.00

rating: PG-13

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J C.

Their marriage was on the rocks and he began spending most of his time out carousing. One evening he came home quite drunk with a sheep tucked under one arm. As he staggered into the bedroom his wife looked up and demanded, "why the hell did you bring that filthy animal in my house?!" The man drunkenly replied, "Here's the fat pig that I have sex with when you won't put out." His wife snorted and said, "If you weren't so stupid, you'd realize that's a sheep." He said, "If you weren't so stupid, you'd realize I wasn't talking to you."

funniness: 8.57

rating: PG

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Vasiliy O.

funniness: 9.87

rating: PG

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Moe R.

funniness: 8.43

rating: PG

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mikayla j.

not so secret anymore!!!

funniness: 8.31

rating: PG

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Joe N.

Do not feed. Avoid eye contact. Do not provoke. No prolonged stopping. No flash photography. No french reporters.

funniness: 8.16

rating: PG

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Moe R.

funniness: 8.07

rating: PG

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