ross m.

The following questions and answers were collected from last year's GCSE >exam results in Swindon. These are genuine responses!! (from 16 year olds)! > >Q: Name the four seasons. >A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. > >Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. >A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutant >like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists. > >Q: How is dew formed? >A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. > >Q: What causes the tides in the oceans? >A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to >flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature >abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight. > >Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on? >A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed. > >Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections? >A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election. > >Q: What are steroids? >A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. > >Q: What happens to your body as you age? >A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental. > >Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty? >A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. > >Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes. >A: Premature death. > >Q: What is artificial insemination? >A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow. > >Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? >A: Keep it in the cow. [He got an A] > >Q: How are the main parts of the body categorised? (e.g. abdomen) >A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax the >abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the >heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A,E,I,O >and U. > >Q: What is the Fibula? >A: A small lie. > >Q: What does "varicose" mean? >A: Nearby. > >Q: What is the most common form of birth control? >A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium. > >Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section." >A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome. > >Q: What is a seizure? >A: A Roman emperor. > >Q: What is a terminal illness? >A: When you are sick at the airport > >Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature? >A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas. > >Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand its >meaning. >A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. > >Q: What does the word "benign" mean? >A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight. > >Q: What is a turbine? >A: Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head >

funniness: 6.74

rating: PG