kerry g.

This is all about comparing parents of times past, and the parents of today... In 1900, parents prayed their children would learn English. Today, parents pray their children will speak English. In 1900, a parents horsepower meant their horses. Today, it's the size of their minivan. In 1900, if a parent put a roof over their family's head, they were a success. Today, it takes a roof, deck, pool, and 4-car garage. And that's just the holiday home. In 1900, a father waited for the doctor to tell him when the baby arrived. Today, a father must wear a smock, know how to breathe, and make sure film is in the video camera. In 1900, fathers passed on clothing to their sons. Today, kids wouldn't touch Dad's clothes if they were sliding naked down an icicle. In 1900, parents could count on children to join the family business. Today, parents pray their kids will soon come home from college long enough to teach them how to work the computer and set the VCR. In 1900, a father smoked a pipe. If he tries that today, he gets sent outside after a lecture on lip cancer. In 1900, a parent gave a pencil box for Christmas, and the kid was all smiles. Today, a parent spends #800 at Toys 'R' Us, and the kid screams: "I wanted X BOX!" In 1900, if a parent had breakfast in bed, it was eggs and bacon and ham and potatoes. Today, it's Special K, soy milk, dry toast and a lecture on cholesterol. In 1900, a Father's Day gift would be a hand tool. Today, he'll get a digital organizer. In 1900, "a good day at the market" meant Father brought home feed for the horses. Today, "a good day at the market" means Dad got in early on an IPO. In 1900, a happy meal was when Mother shared funny stories around the table. Today, a happy meal is what Mum buys at McDonald's. In 1900, when parents entered the room, children often rose to attention. Today, kids glance up and grunt, "you're invading my space." In 1900, fathers threatened their daughters suitors with shotguns if the girl came home late. Today, fathers break the ice by saying, " long have you had that earring?" In 1900, parents pined for the old school, which meant a one-room, red-brick building. Today, parents pine for the old school, which means Vanilla Ice and LL Cool J. In 1900, parents were never truly appreciated. Today, parents are never truly appreciated.

funniness: 5.10

rating: PG