Alex V.

Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are a retired couple. Mrs. Fenton loves to shop and insists that he comes with her on her trip to Wal-Mart. Personally, he doesn't enjoy shopping, and prefers to just get the whole thing over with quickly, but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse. As Mrs. Fenton checked the mailbox before going to Wal-Mart, she gasped in shock as the third letter was ripped open. The following was stated; Dear Mrs. Fenton, Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below. Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was shopping in Wal-Mart: 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking. 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms. 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in house wares.. and watched what happened. 5. Aug 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway. 6. Sept 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. Sept 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. Sept 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' 9. Oct 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose. 10. Nov 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where to find the antidepressants. 11. Dec 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 12. Dec 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 13. Dec 18: Hid in a clothing rack and yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" when people passed by. 14. Dec 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!" And to our greatest disappointment... 15. Dec 23: Went into a fitting room with a rather expensive leather coat, shut the door, and stayed there for 5~10 minutes. All of a sudden, Mr. Fenton exclaimed, "There's no toilet paper in here, so I decided to use the article of clothing I chose as a substitute! Hope you don't mind!!"

funniness: 7.22

rating: PG