Candy D.

Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt don't work. The gleam in your eye is from the sun hitting your bifocals. You feel like the night before and you haven't been anywhere. Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D. You get winded playing cards. Your children begin to look middle aged. You join a health club and don't go. You look forward to dull evenings You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going. You know all the answers but nobody asks you questions. You turn off the lights for economics rather than romantic reasons. You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.

funniness: 6.42

rating: G