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Alabama: Bear wrestling matches are prohibited. Incestuous marriages are legal. It is illegal to impersonate a person of the clergy. It is illegal to maim oneself to escape duty. You may not drive barefooted. Dominoes may not be played on Sunday. It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church. Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death. Boogers may not be flicked into the wind. It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile. You must have windshield wipers on your car. You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time. Masks may not be worn in public. Women are able to retain all property they owned prior to marriage in the case of divorce. However, this provision does not apply to men. It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle. Alaska: Moose may not be viewed from an airplane. While it is legal to shoot bears, waking a sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited. It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane. Arizona: Hunting camels is prohibited. Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony. There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus. Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs. A class 2 misdemeanor occurs if one places a mark upon a flag which is "likely to provoke physical retaliation". It is illegal to manufacture imitation cocaine. When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person posseses. It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water. You may not have more than two dildos in a house. Arkansas: The Arkansas River can rise no higher than to the Main Street bridge in Little Rock. A law provides that school teachers who bob their hair will not get a raise. A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month. Oral sex is considered to be sodomy. Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs. California: Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses. Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship. Bathhouses are against the law. It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale. Women may not drive in a house coat. No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour. Colorado: One may not mutilate a rock in a state park. Car dealers may not show cars on a Sunday. It is illegal for liquor stores to sell food or grocery stores to sell any alcohol except beer that is at most 3. No liquor may be sold on Sundays or election days. It is illegal to ride a horse while under the influence. Tags may be ripped off of pillows and mattresses. Connecticut: Town records may not be kept where liquor is sold. You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour. In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it must bounce. It is illegal to dispose of used razor blades. You cannot buy any alcohol after 9pm or on Sundays after noon. It is illegal to discharge a firearm from a public highway. Delaware: "R" rated movies shall not be shown at drive-in theaters. It is illegal to fly over any body of water, unless one is carrying sufficient supplies of food and drink. Florida: The state constitution allows for freedom of speech, a trial by jury, and pregnant pigs to not be confined in cages. One may not commit any "unnatural acts" with another person. Unmarried couples may not commit "lewd acts" and live together in the same residence. Corrupting the public morals is defined as a nuisance, and is declared a misdemeanor offense. Doors of all public buildings must open outwards. It is illegal to sell your children. Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner. A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing. If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle. It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit. Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown. Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal. It is illegal to skateboard without a license. When having sex, only the missionary position is legal. You may not fart in a public place after 6 P. It is considered an offense to shower naked. You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers. Oral sex is illegal. You may not kiss your wife's breasts. Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging. Georgia: If an organization non registered as "non-profit" fails to register their raffle with the local sheriff, that group risks paying up to $10,000 in fines and spending five years in jail. While Georgia operates its own lottery, it "protects" its citizens by making it illegal to promote a private lottery. The term "sadomasochistic abuse" is defined so broadly, that it could possibly be applied to a person handcuffing another in a clown suit. All sex toys are banned. It is illegal to use profanity in front of a dead body which lies in a funeral home or in a coroners office. Members of the state assembly cannot be ticketed for speeding while the state assembly is in session. Donkeys may not be kept in bathtubs. Signs are required to be written in English. No one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket if it is Sunday. Hawaii: Billboards are outlawed. All residents may be fined as a result of not owning a boat. Coins are not allowed to be placed in one's ears. More Soon!!

funniness: 7.89

rating: PG