nathan s.

Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin? Why is toilet bowl cleaning liquid only blue? Do they have girl?s bathrooms in gay bars? Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable? Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside? If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold? If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware? How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play? Why is chopsticks one of the easiest songs to play on the piano, but the hardest thing to eat with? What happens if you put 'this side up' face down while popping microwave popcorn? Can mute people burp? Why is it that when you get out of a swimming pool, your urine is hotter when you use the restroom? Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear?? Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures?? "Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?" Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable? Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate? Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse? Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat? How come we say 'It's colder than hell outside' when isn't it realistically always colder than hell since hell is supposed to be fire and brimstone? In that song, 'she'll be coming around the mountain', who is she? Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet? If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible? Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends? Can you get cornered in a round room? Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse? Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"? Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"? Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni? If you pay for a vacation and your plane crashes on the way there, do you get you money back? (Granted you lived) Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup? Are marbles made of marble? Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time? "Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute? Can it be cloudy and foggy at the same time? Can a fire truck park in the fire lane? If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later? Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first? When French people swear do they say 'pardon my English'? Can you make a candle out of your earwax? Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them? If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit? If Hooters were to become a door-to-door service would they have to change their name to 'Knockers'? Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up? Do coffins have lifetime guarantees? Why is there a top line on lined paper if we never use it? When people say, "I?m so tired it's not even funny" or "my head hurts so much it's not even funny", why would it even be funny in the first place? Do stairs go up or down? Why do bullies always ask "what?s your problem" when they're obviously not going to solve it? Do they have burglar alarms at Christian bookstores? Can you put a gay man in a straight jacket? If you swallow a burp does it turn into a fart? Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities they are put in an mental hospital, but when a child has imaginary friends it's cute? Do Jewish vampires avoid crosses or Stars of David? Can you still say "Put it where the sun don't shine " on a nude beach? How come French fries are not considered vegetables, since they are just deep fried potatoes? If someone's peeing and halfway through they die, would they keep pissing or stop? Are people who are allergic to nuts allergic to coconuts too? Do the actors in the re-enactments on Americas most wanted, ever get arrested (because they were seen on TV portraying the criminal)? Can a person with no ears wear glasses? If you rented a movie and were late returning it and then you died would someone you knew or a family member have to pay the late fee? If you made biscuits with chocolate milk instead of regular milk, would they taste chocolaty? What if you were to ask a genie to grant you more than three wishes for one of you wishes? Why doesn't baking soda freeze? Do bald people get dandruff? Do the actors on Unsolved Mysteries ever get arrested because they look just like the criminal they are playing? "What was Captian Hook's name before he had a hook for a hand?" If there was a crumb on the table and you cut it in half, would you have two crumbs or two halves of a crumb? When a store has double doors why do they only let you use one of them? How do "do not walk on grass" signs get there? Whats a question with no answer called? Why do we say "heads up" when we actually duck? Are there pink lemons that make pink lemonade? Doesn't a lightning rod on top of church show a lack of faith? How come lotion is colored, but when you put it on, it doesn't turn your skin that color? Are tomatoes fruits or vegetables? Isn't it weird that all year round your parents tell you not to play with fire, but on Independence Day they hand you a package of explosives, a lighter, and say 'have fun'? How come only your fingers and toes get wrinkly in the shower and nothing else does? Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs. Why is there a little countdown (like 8, 7, 6, 5, 4) near the bottom of the copyright info page in the beginning of many books? If a pack of gum says that each piece is 10 calories, is that amount just chewing the gum, or also for swallowing it? Why do cats like to dig their paws into something before they lay down on it? When an atheist swears on a Bible before they testify in court do they have to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth since they don't believe in God? Is it possible to be allergic to water? What is the point in saying "may I ask" and then follow it up with a question? Why is there never a full English dinner or tea but there is always a full English breakfast? Why don't they make Root Beer flavored ice cream? Wouldn't it be better than root beer floats? If a General is a higher ranking officer than a Major, then why is a major illness worse than a general illness? If a baseball player hits a home run over the fence, but then dies before he can run around the bases, does the home run count? Can a unborn baby fart or burp? Why does jello have a smell when you add the powder in the water, but when it "gels" the scent virtually disappears? Why is it called a soap opera when nobody sings? If French kissing is a big thing in America, how do French people react to normal American kissing? Can you "zone out" and be "in the zone" at the same time? Do you wake up or open your eyes first? Is the vice president's wife called the second lady? If a stripper gets breast implants can she write it off on her taxes as a business expense? If your eyes are crossed, do your tears fall straight? Why do child labor laws not prohibit children from acting in movies? If a vampire were Jewish would his Sabbath start at sunrise? Why do people say "The alarm just went off" when really it just came on? Do they put underwear on corpses? Do bubbles freeze in winter? What sound does a bunny make? If you had only one hand, would second hand smoking effect you? Do suicide hotlines have hold? Have you ever wondered why in the 1500's nude photos/painting were art, while today it's pornography? If you are old and are in a bathtub how would you know if you have been in there too long? If you can see your breath outide on a cold day, could you see your fart? If you wear contact lenses and you died with them in your eyes, do they take them out? THANK YOU FOR VIEWING ALL THE "LIFES UNANSWERED QUESTIONS" SERIES.(1-7 AND THIS ONE) DONT FORGET TO VOTE AND RATE!

funniness: 7.31

rating: PG