Funny.com. Work in progress... In the meantime, here are 10 random funny stuff for you:

spider m.

I'm safe from identity theft, no one wants to be me. Great people in history have one thing in commom, they are all psychos. Yogurt is not now and will not ever be a substiute for ice cream. Thanksgiving is wrong, you get the day off but you have to spend it with your family. Rumor has it, that people are having children on purpose. God bless America. (But not any of those other, evil countries.) Smile, it's our only defense against gravity. The worst part about being poor is that you have to live among poor people. Behind every success story is another story about someone having that same exact idea 5 years earlier. Denial: The first step is admitting that there are no problems. If you want revenge on a married man, just call his house and and hang up every time his wife answers. The whoopie cushion is the seat of all humor. Men are free to do whatever they please, just as long as their wife okays it. We cheer Robin Hood when he steals from the rich and gives to the poor, but detest the poor when they do the same thing. In a hundred years you won't have to worry about money. It's okay to be late as long as you bring donuts. Soccer is the only game you can say- "We killed em' 2-0." Arguements between your spouse and you rarely end with whatever. Never, under any circumstance, not even once in a while, is it okay to wear socks with sandals. The two cruelest words ever linked together, mandatory meeting. Never trust a story that has been told more than once. The best weight loss system is sticking a mirror inside of your fridge. and the most important thing.... If you get arrested, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

funniness: 8.15

rating: PG

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Virginia M.

A bakery owner hires a young, attractive female clerk who likes to wear very short skirts and thong panties. One day a young man enters the store, glances at the clerk and spots the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing the length of her skirt and the location of the raisin bread, he has a brilliant idea. "I'd like some raisin bread, please," the man says politely. The female clerk nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread located on the very top shelf. Another young man standing almost directly beneath her is provided an excellent view, too. Once she descends the ladder, he muses that he really should get two loaves because he is having company for dinner. As the shapely clerk retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male customers notices what was going on. Thinking quickly, he requests his own loaf of raisin bread so he can continue to enjoy the view. With each trip up the ladder, the young lady seems to catch the eye of another male customer. Pretty soon, each male customer is asking for raisin bread just to see the clerk climb up and down. After many trips, she is tired, irritated, and thinking she is going to have to try the bread herself. Finally, once again atop the ladder, she stops and fumes, glaring at the men standing below. She notices an elderly man standing amongst the crowd, staring up at her. Thinking to save herself a trip, she yells at the elderly man, "Is it raisin for you, too? "No," stammers the old man, "but it's a quiverin'."

funniness: 8.42

rating: PG-13

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Moe R.

Upset There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband insisted on shutting off the light. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device... A vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one. She went completely ballistic. "You impotent bastard," she screamed at him, "How could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!" The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I'll explain the toy . . You explain the 3 kids."

funniness: 9.37

rating: R

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Vasiliy O.

Smile John, John. Hey John!!

funniness: 8.51

rating: PG-13

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Moe R.

See if you can find who is NOT feeling well.

funniness: 8.80

rating: PG

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Moe R.

funniness: 8.94

rating: PG-13

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L L.

funniness: 8.31

rating: PG-13

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Moe R.

They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong -- and sometimes it is embarrassing. There's nothing worse than a doctor's receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it: A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk. The receptionist said, "Yes, sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?" He replied, "There's something wrong with my dick." The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that." "Why not? You asked me what was wrong, and I told you." The receptionist replied, "Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear and then discussed the problem further with the doctor in private." "You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full of strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone," the man said. Then he walked out and waited several minutes before re-entering. The receptionist smiled smugly and said, "Yes?" "There's something wrong with my ear." The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, sir?" "I can't piss out of it." The waiting room erupted in laughter. The lesson: Mess with seniors, and you're going to lose

funniness: 9.77

rating: PG-13

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Moe R.

The Knob A woman visited a plastic surgeon who told her about a new procedure called 'The Knob,' where a small knob is placed at the top of the woman's head and could be turned to tighten up her skin and produce the effect of a brand new face-lift. Of course, the woman wanted 'The Knob.' Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the knob, and the effects were wonderful, the woman remained young looking and vibrant. After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems. 'All these years, everything has been working just fine. I've had to turn the knob many times and I've always loved the results.. But now I've developed two annoying problems: First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won't get rid of them.' The doctor looked at her closely and said, 'Those e aren't bags, those are your breasts.' She said, 'Well, I guess there's no point in asking about the goatee.'

funniness: 8.98

rating: PG-13

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Pee Humor ..

funniness: 8.00

rating: PG-13

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