nathan s.

Why is it that when a person tells you there's over a million stars in the universe you believe them, but if someone tells you there's wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure? If a Man is talking in the forest and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong? If The Flintstones were B.C. and before America, why did they have Flintstones Thanksgiving and Flintstones Christmas? How come thaw and unthaw mean the same thing? Is a hot car cool or is a cool car hot? Is a man full of wonder a wonderful man? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? How can you hear yourself think? How can you chop down a tree and then chop it up? If Americans throw rice at weddings, do the Chinese throw hamburgers? What's the difference between a wise man and a wise guy? What would happen if an Irresistible Force met an Immovable Object? Why do banks leave the door wide open but the pens chained to the counter? Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections? If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests? Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg? What if the hokey-pokey really is what it's all about? Why do they call it taking a dump? Shouldn't it be leaving a dump? What happens if someone loses a lost and found box? Why do they have handicap parking spaces in front of they skating rings? Why do we leave expensive cars in the driveway, when we keep worthless junk in the garage? Why is a person that handles your money called a BROKER? Aren't you tired of people asking you rhetorical questions and you don't know if they are rhetorical questions or not? If when people freak out they are said to be "having a cow", when cows freak out are they said to be "having a person?" Why is it called lipstick when it always comes off? If masochists like to torture themselves, wouldn't they do it best by not torturing themselves? and if so, aren't we all masochist? If Wile Coyote had enough money for all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed" if afterwards it doesn't work anymore? Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Have you ever wondered why Trix are only for kids? Why do you click on start to exit Microsoft Windows? If there's an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule? Can blind people see their dreams? Where does the white go when the snow melts? What came first, the fruit or the color orange? Is a sleeping bag a nap sack? If Pringles are "so good that once you pop, you can't stop" why do they come with a resealable lid? Are zebras black with white stripes, or white with black stripes? Did they have antiques in the olden days? Why are pennies bigger than dimes? If you dig a tunnel straight through the earth, will you come out with your feet first? How come the sun makes your skin darker but your hair lighter? What do you call male ballerinas? Why do hotdogs come in packs of 8 when hotdog rolls come in packs of 10? Why do they call it a black light when it's really purple? Why is the blackboard green? On the periodic table, why do some elements have symbols with letters that aren't even in the word? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! If you try to fail and succeed, what did you just do? Is the opposite of "out of whack" "in whack" Why are toe nail clippers bigger than finger nail clippers when your toe nails are smaller than your finger nails? If Practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, then why practice? What's the opposite of opposite? Why do we scrub Down and wash Up? Why is it when your almost dead your on deaths doorstep, but when your actually dead your not in deaths house? Do sore thumbs really stick out? If you accidentally ate your own tongue, what would it taste like? If love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight? Why is an electrical outlet called an outlet when you plug things into it? Shouldn't it be called an inlet. Why is an elevator still called an elevator even when its going down? Can good looking Eskimo girls be called hot? What was the best thing before sliced bread? Why do people never say "it's only a game" when they're winning? Why is it called eggplant, when there's no egg in it? Why is it called pineapple, when's there neither pine nor apple in it? Why are boxing rings square? If somebody vanished without a trace, how do people know they are missing? Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up "there" anyway? Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but people don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? Why do people say "You scared the living daylights out of me" when daylight is not living? Is the fear of flying groundless? Do mimes watch silent movies? Does peanut butter really have butter in it? Why is it that cargo is transported by ship while a shipment is transported by car? Why doesn't a chicken egg taste like chicken? If the professor on Giligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Do the minutes on the movie boxes include the previews, credits, and special features, or just the movie itself? Does a postman deliver his own mail? If feathers tickle people, do they tickle birds? Can you sentence a homeless man to house arrest? What do people in China call their good plates? Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink what ever comes out"? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why is the third hand on the watch called second hand? Why is it that rain drops but snow falls? Why can magicians make things disappear into thin air, but not thick air? If you stole a pen from a bank then would it still be considered a bank robbery?

funniness: 7.26

rating: PG