Jase M.

One day a man and his wife went to a posh Asian restuarant for lunch. The man didn't want to miss the cricket, so he bought his mobile along to watch it. The lady also bought her phone; so she could watch a show on hairdressing. As soon as they were escorted to their seats, the man and his wife took out their phones and started to watch TV on them. They didn't even look at the menus they were given. A short while later, a waiter came over to take their orders. "Are you ready to order?" He asked the man and his wife, who were to busy watching TV to notice him. "YES!" Replied the man, looking excitedly at the phone, "YES! Great shot!" The waiter, who was taught to respect the diners, thought nothing of the rudeness of the man and continued. "What would like from our delicious menu today, sir?" He asked. The man continued to ignore him and look at the screen. "CATCH IT!" He yelled, "CATCH IT! YES, FINALLY" The waiter really wasn't enjoying the man's rudeness, but he took his order. "What sauce would you like with that?" He asked the man. "Oh, LBW for sure! I mean come one!" The man said to the phone, and again the waiter wrote down his order. He then moved onto the man's wife, who was likewise watching the phone contently. "And for you madame? What can I get you?" He asked. The wife stopped looking at the phone and looked over at her husband. "I would absolutely love a man's perm. It would be delightful!" She said to her husband, who ignored her. The waiter gasped and then wrote something down and then walked off. A few minutes later the man put the phone away, and so did his wife. "Lunch at the cricket." He explained to his wife, "Are you ready to order?" He asked her. "I haven't even looked at the menu!" She snapped back. She was about to yell at her husband when a waiter came out with two dishes and set them down at their table. He said something in Chinese, and then walked off. The man looked at his dish, that he didn't think he'd ordered. On the dish was a big brown thing, and it was surrounded by some yellow sauce. He smelt it, and it smelt quite bad, but he started to eat it anyway. The wife's dish had a tiny bit of white stuff in the middle. She tasted some, and it did taste familiar, and because she was on a diet, the small serving didn't bother her, so she ate it up. After the man was finished eating whatever it was he ate, him and his wife went to the bar to pay the bill. His wife scraped a little bit of the brown stuff of his upper lip before anyone could see it. They told the Asian man at the bar their table number and he gave them the bill. "$167!" The man said, reading the bill angrily, "That is an outrage!" "No it isn't!" Replied the Asian man, "Do you have any idea how hard it was to find some cat shit, and find a little boy to get some Little Boy's Wee at such short notice! And our supplier of man's sperm wasn't exactly begging to have a wank for your benefit!" The man and his wife suddenly realized what the brown thing with the yellow sauce was, and what the familiar tasting white stuff was, and they never went Asian again!

funniness: 4.58

rating: PG-13