bob b.

(Loosely based on a true story) To whom it may concern, I am responding to a letter I received to better describe my accident and the injuries incurred. I am a bricklayer by trade. On the date in question I was working by myself on the 3rd floor of a building. When the project was complete I realized I had brought more brick than I needed. On the top of the building there was a barrel hooked to a pulley system by a rope which we used to hoist brick to the top. I made sure the rope was secure on the bottom of the building, loaded the barrel with the extra brick, and climbed to the bottom of the building. Upon realising the knot on the rope holding the barrel, I realized my 140 lb frame was no match for the 250 lb of brick I loaded. The rope was quickly sliding through my hands despite my best efforts. (This explains the rope burn in both palms.) Unfortunately, one of the coils of rope became tightly wound around my ankle. I was lifted into the air at a high rate of speed and at about the mid-way point I met the barrel coming in the other direction. (This explains the broken ankle and the laceratons along my back.) When I reached the top, my foot was partially pulled into the pulley system. At the bottom of the building the barrel hit the ground with enough force to knock out the bottom.(This explains my severed toes and the cuts on my leg.) As I descended the building at growing speeds I met the barrel again. (This explains my broken nose and the lacerations on my face and front.) When I finally reached the ground I braced my fall with both of my arms and the barrel had reached the top of the building again burying the knot in the rope which was cut as the result. The barrel then fell from the 3rd floor onto my body. (This explains my broken arms and wrists, broken ribs, and lacerations to the side of my body.) I hope this letter clarifies the situation and answers any questions you had. Sincerely, Joe Jackass

funniness: 4.06

rating: PG