CheesyJohn -.

The Darwin award is not a real award. it's given to the dumbasses that got themselves killed, and helped the economy by not being able to transfer their stupidity to their child. Here's a few dumbasses. 1)There was a young man who worked as a gasoline tank cleaner, and he went down one of the giant fuel tanks. Even though it was supposed to be empty, there were some fuel stil left. And since it was dark and he couldn't see anything, this dumbass lit a match, blowing him and a few other fuel tanks up. 2)This other guy owned an old car. One day he was driving it and some weird noise was coming from the bottom of the car. So he went to his friend and asked him to drive his car while he hanged on the bottom of the car. So he did it, and after a while the guy driving thought something was wrong. He came out of the car and noticed his friend's clothing was caught somewhere and he was ripped to pieces. 3)There was a old army veteran, who just retired from the army, and he was trying to get some drugs, but he didn't have any money. So he goes to the drug dealer and tells him to hand over all the drugs he got. But he refuses. So the army veteran takes out a grenade and pulled the pin to threaten the drug dealer. The drug dealer handed him his drugs. But, as the army guy walks out of the shop, he put the grenade in his pocket. And soon after, he blows himself up. 4)There was a skier and his friend, who was skiing down a mountain, he doesn't notice a tower in front of him and slamms into it, and died. There was supposed to be a cushion made of foam which would protect the skiers who hit it, but the skier that just died stole that foam cushion not long ago, to use on his snowboard. 5)One man, who was sleeping, heard his phone ring, and went to grab it without opening his eyes, but instead he grabbed a pistol he kept with him, which discharged itself when he put it in his ear. 6)There was a jail guard who likes to crawl in the roof of the jail. He was watching an inmate and his wife having sex, and then somehow he slipped and fell through a air vent, and fell 25 feet to his death. 7)A group of christians wanted to follow God's footsteps in a very serious way. They were trying to walk on water like God did, and they practiced day and night. They finally stopped when their leader died from drowning in his bathtub, where he and his wife were trying to find a perfect way to walk on water. He tripped over a bar of soap and drowned to death. 8)There was also a diver, who drowned when he went to retrieve something on his boat. He took off all his swimming gears, except for the weight belt, which was about 15 pounds. When he jumped in the water he sank like a rock so fast nobody could rescue him before he drowned.

funniness: 5.10

rating: PG