Kevin E.

Hey here's a torture test I give to anyone that pisses me off or tries to steal from me. So read it before you consider making me hate you. I'll tie you down to a table nude And as you starve I will eat food I'll savor it to the last bite And enjoy it all within your sight I'll tickle your feet and salt your wounds While piercing your nipples with hot table spoons I'll smeer crap in your mouth and sand in your eyes While making you listen to the white stripes I'll dump ice on your groin and hot wax on your thighs And make you watch porn starring only gay guys I'll crack eggs on your head and make you eat the shells While I drive golf tee's under your finger nails I'll give you thousands of small paper cuts While burning your nipples with lit cigarettes I'll stuff a crayon right up your pee hole While hooking your tongue to a jumper cable I'll cut off your eye lids using a butter knife So you have to watch me as I fuck your wife I'll pull out each tooth using needle nose pliars And shove a candle up your ass while it's still on fire I'll jam crap up your nose so you can smell shit As you watch me load only one bullet Into the chamber of my new shot gun Then I'll blow off your balls Untie you and run.

funniness: 3.93

rating: R