Funny.com. Work in progress... In the meantime, here are 10 random funny stuff for you:

Mr L.

It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the local university. The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail. A half hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet. "You're not going to have time to finish this," the professor stated sarcastically as he handed the student a booklet. "Yes I will," replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing. After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued writing. A half hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there. "No you don't, I'm not going to accept that. It's late." The student looked incredulous and angry. "Do you know WHO I am?" "No, as a matter of fact I don't," replied the professor. "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?" The student asked again. "No, and I don't care." Replied the professor with an air of superiority. "Good," replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and walked out of the room.

funniness: 8.08

rating: G

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Kelly O.

1. Ask the cashiers where they get the red vests. 2. Ask a random passerby for 20 $. 3. Look around aimlessly and when an employee tries to help you scream at the top of your lungs "OH NO! NOT YOU AGAIN!!!!" 4. Look around the motor department muttering to yourself about what would work best to kill a cashier. 5. Pretend you're Elmer Fudd. 6. Get a hat and write 'tips' on it and start singing loudly. 7. When someone tips you, start singing I LOVE YOU, CUZ U TIPPED ME WE'RE A HAPPY FAMILY WITH A GREAT BIG HUG AND A KISS FROM ME TO YOU, WON'T YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME TO! 8. Chew on a carrot and hop around the store. 9. Try to stuff things into your pockets when employees are around and mutter that your pockets aren't big enough. 10. Sit at a cashier station and pretend to check people in. 11. In the electronics department, pound on the doors screaming "I'll bust you out!!!" 12. Go to a regular door (not automatic) and pound on it screaming "LET ME OUT OF THIS HELL HOLE!" 13. If you are a man walk around the store with a purse. 14. If you are a woman, go through the men's department saying "This would look great on me!" 15. When an employee asks you if you would rather go to the women's department, say "Just what are you trying to say?" 16. If they call security, say "NO! Don't make me go back there!!!" 17. If they ask you if you are okay, say "Yes, the nice men in white suits said that I was." 18. If they ask who the nice men in white suits were, just smile. 19. Go over to the food department and scream ITS ALL POISENED!!! 20. Go into the deoderant department and, when there is a bunch of people there, say "I don't know why this stuff is so popular. I don't wear any." 21. When people walk away from you, run after them. 22. Pick out a person and follow them through the store. 23. If you find a stray cart, try to hit the person you are following with it. 24. If you don't find a cart, take random things off the shelves and throw that at them. 25. If they tell you to stop, just smile. 26. Whistle into their ear. 27. If you find balloons, find an unsuspecting person and pop a balloon in their ear. 28. If you find confetti, run through the store throwing it on people singing "Happy Birthday to you!" 29. Get some flowers, cry and pretend to win an oscar. 30. Get some gum and chew really loudly in someone's ear. 31. Go up to someone and say O my gosh, you're really ugly aren't you. 32. Try to run people down with shopping carts. Extra points for kids. 33. When you are finished with your gum, stick it in someone's hair. 34. Walk around the store singing 'I'm too sexy for my shirt' over and over. 35. Walk around the store muttering to yourself. 36. Put on a dress and walk around the store doing the Can-Can. Extra points if you are a man. 37. If they try to throw you out, say "No, not the light! It burns!" 38. Pretend you are gay. 39. Skip while holding hands with someone. 40. Get a broom and fly around the store. 41. Find someone and say to them "I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! *evil laugh*" 42. Stalk someone.

funniness: 8.09

rating: PG

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Alex V.

Bad: You can't find your vibrator. Worse: Your daughter "borrowed" it. Bad: You find a porn movie in your son's room. Worse: You're in it. Bad: Your children are sexually active. Worse: With each other. Bad: Your husband's a crossdresser. Worse: He looks better than you. Bad: Your son's involved in Satanism. Worse: As a sacrifice. Bad: Your wife wants a divorce. Worse: She's a lawyer. Bad: Your wife's leaving you. Worse: For another woman. Bad: Your wife's leaving you. Worse: To enter a convent. Bad: Your wife's arrested for soliciting. Worse: She implicates you. Good: Hot outdoor sex. Bad: You're arrested. Worse: By your husband. Good: The postman's early. Bad: He's wearing camo and has an AK-47. Good: The secretary said "yes." Bad: Your wife says "no." Good: The teacher likes your son. Bad: Sexually. Worse: He's gay. Good: You came home for a quickie. Bad: So did the postman. Good: You came home for a quickie. Bad: Your wife walks in. Good: You get a three-day weekend. Bad: You get the flu on Friday. Good: You get tickets to the theatre. Bad: It's performance art. Good: You go to see a strip show. Bad: Your daughter's the headliner. Worse: She turns you on. Good: Your boyfriend's exercising. Bad: So he'll fit into your clothes. Good: Your car conveniently "runs out of gas." Bad: For real. Good: Your child's "waiting for Mr. Right". Bad: Your son, that is. Good: Your daughter's on the Pill. Bad: She's eleven. Good: Your neighbor exercises in the nude. Bad: He weighs 350 pounds. Good: Your son's doing extra credit work. Bad: Making a sex ed video. Good: Your uncle leaves you a fortune. Bad: He was a counterfeiter. Good: Your wife bought a porn video. Bad: Your daughter's the star. Worse: She's a lot better in bed than your wife. Good: Your wife likes outdoor sex. Bad: You live downtown. Good: Your wife meets you at the door nude. Bad: She's on her way in. Worse: there's a big group of guys behind her. Good: Your wife's kinky. Bad: With the neighbors. Worse: All of them.

funniness: 8.40

rating: PG-13

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Moe R.

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Innovative 2. Preliminary 3. Proliferation 4. Cinnamon THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Specificity 2. Anti-constitutionalistically 3. Passive-aggressive disorder 4. Transubstantiate THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. No thanks, I'm married. 2. Nope, no more booze for me! 3. Sorry, but you're not really my type. 4. Taco Bell? No thanks, I'm not hungry. 5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight? 6. Oh, I couldn't! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke. 7. I'm not interested in fighting you. 8. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I'd hate to look like a fool! 9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this parking lot or on the side of the road. 10. I must be going home now, as I have to work in the morning.

funniness: 8.79

rating: PG

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pvlk k.

funniness: 8.17

rating: PG

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Vasiliy O.

funniness: 9.56

rating: PG-13

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Moe R.

funniness: 9.57

rating: PG-13

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Deema G.

funniness: 8.39

rating: PG

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Kate H.

Official Announcement: The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed! Damn, it just doesn't get more accurate than that!

funniness: 8.38

rating: PG-13

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Zuzu K.

So you think that your life sucks?That it's the most boring piece of vile shit that has ever existed?I scoff at you. Let me tell you about a day in my life Every day i wake up, and i tell my self "I'm ready". I wake up and i always fool myself with false hopes. i get ready and i leave the house at the most ungodly hours of the morning, to get to work early, where i kiss my boss's ass in the hopes of getting a promotion. Every fucking morning i say hello cheerfully to my 2 neighbors , so that they think I'm all sunshine and happiness. God they are the biggest idiots on the surface of the planet. You know those people who think that they are artsy and cool, so they look down on other people all the time?That's one of my neighbors. The other one is - and i shit you not - the hugest dumbass that has ever existed. The guy practically lives under a rock. As i head to work - walking, I may add, I never got a license because my stupid teacher won't let me pass my test - i say hello to this really hot chick that i know I'll never have the smallest chance i my life of fucking. But Damn, she's hot. She's got this tight little ass that turns me on like nobody's business (She's a martial artist, and i ask her for lessons in the hopes of getting some) , a cute little southern accent that makes me want to fuck her brains out. Anyway i get to work which is a fucking crusty-ass little fast-food place, where I'm the cook. My boss is incredibly greedy, practically a Jew, and treats me like a piece of shit. He has a daughter who's an idiot too. You know those chicks who are fucking whales, but think that they're the shit? Yeah that's her. so i stay at work hopelessly daydreaming about being someone important in the world. I cook very good, so the place gets filled up most of the time, but i get paid a minimum wage by my boss, when I'm the one that practically gets the customers to come here. My artsy neighbor works here too, he's the cashier, but he's a total dumbass, so i only talk to him to piss him off. I go home after work, tired and dejected at the utter uselessness of my life, but smiling nonetheless at anybody who looks my way, to make them think I'm happy. I never Have any dates, obviously, so when i get home, I pretty much just go to sit down on the couch with my pet snail Gary, and watch TV wile eating a motherfucking krabby patty.

funniness: 8.62

rating: PG-13

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