Funny.com. Work in progress... In the meantime, here are 10 random funny stuff for you:

Moe R.

Top 6 Smartass Answers SMARTASS ANSWER #6 It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. "What are my choices?" John asked. "Yes or no," she replied. SMARTASS ANSWER #5 A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub." SMARTASS ANSWER #4 A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead." SMARTASS ANSWER #3 The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket. SMARTASS ANSWER #2 A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, " Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas." SMARTASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006 A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

funniness: 8.58

rating: PG

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ashley l.

funniness: 8.77

rating: PG-13

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Moe R.

funniness: 8.33

rating: PG

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ashley l.

funniness: 9.75

rating: PG-13

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bart30 a.

funniness: 8.97

rating: R

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Jessica W.

Tisk, tisk

funniness: 8.22

rating: G

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Casey S.

funniness: 8.43

rating: G

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Moe R.

REINCARNATION Jason came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk (as he often did) and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He gave his wife a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. ?Who the hell are you?? Demanded Jason, ?and what are you doing in my bedroom??. The mysterious Man answered ?This isn?t your bedroom and I?m St. Peter?. Jason was stunned ?You mean I?m dead!!! That can?t be, I have so much to live for, I haven?t said goodbye to my family?. you?ve got to send me back straight away?. St Peter replied ?Yes you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen.? Jason was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground. ?This ain?t so bad? he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him. The farmyard rooster strolled over and said ?So you?re the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?? ?It?s not so bad? replies Jason, ?but I have this strange feeling inside like I?m about to explode?. ?You?re ovulating? explained the rooster, ?don?t tell me you?ve never laid an egg before?. ?Never? replies Jason. ?Well just relax and let it happen?. And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that had ever happened to him? ever!!! The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous SMACK on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting ?Jason, wake up you drunken bastard, you?re shitting the bed!?

funniness: 9.51

rating: PG

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Moe R.

funniness: 8.97

rating: PG

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Adela X.

A note my daughter's preschool teacher passed around this morning to the parents. I should home school her from now on.

funniness: 8.11

rating: PG

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