Funny.com. Work in progress... In the meantime, here are 10 random funny stuff for you:

Arni S.

A man escapes from a prison where he has been kept for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her on the neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes!He probably spent lots of time in jail, and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do what he tells you, just give him satisfaction, no matter how much he ravages you. This guy is probably damned dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." The wife responds, "He wasn' t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom. I told him where to find it. Be strong, honey. I love you, too."

funniness: 8.55

rating: PG-13

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Virginia M.

"Don't laugh!" said the patient, Ed. "Of course I won't laugh," the doctor said. "I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient." "Okay then," Ed said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest 'hoo-ha' the doctor had ever seen. It could not have been bigger than the size of an AAA battery. Unable to control himself, the doctor started giggling, and then fell laughing to the floor. Ten minutes later, he was able to struggle to his feet and regain his composure. "I'm so sorry," said the doctor. "I really am. I do not know what came over me. On my honor as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it will not happen again. Now what seems to be the problem?" "It's swollen," Ed replied...

funniness: 8.52

rating: PG

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Virginia M.

I want to live my next life backwards : You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day. Then you get kicked out for being too healthy. Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension. Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work 40 years until you're too young to work. You get ready for High School : drink alcohol, party, and you're generally promiscuous. Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you have no responsibilities. Then you become a baby, and then... You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in Spa-like conditions - central heating, room service on tap, and then... You finish off as an orgasm. I rest my case.

funniness: 8.99

rating: PG-13

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Moe R.

Three guys were at deer camp. They had to bunk two to a room. No one wanted to room with Steve because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns. The first night, John slept in Steve's room and came to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. The rest of the guys said, "Man, what happened to you?" He said, "Steve snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night." The next night it was Garry's turn. In the morning, same thing--hair all standing up, eyes all blood-shot. Once again they asked, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful!" He said, "Man, that Steve shakes the roof. I couldn't sleep a wink. I just watched him all night." The third night was Herb's turn. Herb was a big burly guy who loved to fish and hunt -- a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed. "Good morning," he said. The guys couldn't believe it! They said, "Man, what happened?" He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Steve into bed and kissed him good night. He sat up and watched me all night long."

funniness: 9.41

rating: PG

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Moe R.

funniness: 8.95

rating: PG-13

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Vasiliy O.

funniness: 8.93

rating: PG-13

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Moe R.

funniness: 9.15

rating: PG

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Moe R.

Ok, but just for tonight!

funniness: 9.36

rating: PG-13

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pvlk k.

funniness: 8.11

rating: G

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Moe R.

funniness: 9.83

rating: G

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