Tyce F.

The hypothalamus is one of the most important parts of the brain, involved in many kinds of motivation, among other functions. The hypothalamus controls the "Four F's": 1. fighting; 2. fleeing; 3.feeding; and 4. mating. -- Psychology professor in neuropsychology intro course What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary. -- Richard Harkness, The New York Times, 1960 Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change. Applying computer technology is simply finding the right wrench to pound in the correct screw. It is possible for your mind to be so open that your brain falls out. Out the 10Base-T, through the router, down the T1, over the leased line, off the bridge, past the firewall...nothing but Net. I am Homer of Borg! Prepare to be... Ooooooo! Donuts! Courteous Postal Workers: A. Always have stamps on hand. B. Are kind, courteous, and patient with customers. C. Save the last bullet for themselves. The number you have dialed is imaginary. Please divide by 0 and try again. I still miss my ex-wife, but my aim is getting better. Lazlo's Chinese Relativity Axiom: No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats---approximately one billion Chinese couldn't care less. Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a mistake when you make it again. -- F. P. Jones Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. -- Douglas Adams, Last Chance to See When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, "Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?" -- Quentin Crisp Confucius say too much. -- Recent Chinese proverb I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce. -- J. Edgar Hoover Don't hate yourself in the morning -- sleep 'till noon. Life may have no meaning. Or even worse, it may have a meaning of which I disapprove. -- Ashleigh Brilliant My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right. -- Ashleigh Brilliant Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. And Jesus said unto them, "And whom do you say that I am?" They replied, "You are the eschatological manifestation of the ground of our being, the ontological foundation of the context of our very selfhood revealed." And Jesus replied, "What?" Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? 1. Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. 2. Advising the President. 3. Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin. -- David Letterman For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. -- Johnny Carson Groucho: So, Mrs. Smith, do you have any children? Smith: Yes, thirteen. G: Thirteen! Good lord, isn't that a burden? S: Well, I love my husband. G: Lady, I love my cigar but I take it out of my mouth once in a while. -- Groucho Marx, on You Bet Your Life Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself. -- Mark Twain Don't worry about temptation--as you grow older, it starts avoiding you. -- Old Farmer's Almanac From alt.barney.dinosaur.die.die.die: Another similarity is that Rush Limbaugh and Barney are both purple, or would be if someone had the good sense to wrap some piano wire around Rush's neck...

funniness: 6.59

rating: PG