Ward N.

MATERIALS SAFETY DATA SHEET WOMEN - A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS *********************************************** ELEMENT: Women SYMBOL: WO DISCOVER: Adam ATOMIC MASS: Accepted at 53.6Kg, but know to vary from 40-200Kg OCCURRENCES: Abundant quantities in all areas. PHYSICAL PROPERTIES: 1. Surface usually covered in painted film. 2. Boils at nothing; freezes without known reason. 3. Melts if given special treatment. 4. Bitter if incorrectly used. 5. Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore. 6. Yields if pressure applied in correct places. CHEMICAL PROPERTIES: 1. Has great affinity for gold, silver, and a range of precious stones. 2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances. 3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason. 4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity increases greatly by saturation in alcohol. 5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man. COMMON USES: 1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars. 2. Very effective cleaning agents. TESTS: 1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state. 2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen. HAZARDS: 1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands. 2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come in direct contact with each other.

funniness: 7.40

rating: PG