Kasey M.

This guy gets out of the service, and the bus drops him off in a small Midwestern town. He finds a place to stay and work at a farm nearby, and asks the farmer where he might find some female action. So, the farmer tells him about a whorehouse not far from the farm. The soldier sets out for a romp in the hay. When he arrives at the whorehouse, he asks the Madame for a lady, to which she replies, "I'm sorry, but all the ladies are quarantined for a few days." Flabbergasted, the soldier says, "I can't believe that! I haven't had any booty in a long time!" The Madame says, "well, we do have a substitute, and it's $20. Take it or leave it." He's so desperate he agrees, and she takes his money and sends him down a set of stairs into a small room with nothing in it but a chicken. He says to himself "I can't screw a chicken!" The more he thinks about it, he figures "what the heck?" So, he climbs on the chicken and romps on it, and after he's finished, he leaves. A couple of days later, he comes back and the girls are still quarantined, so he goes back in with the chicken and gets on it again, enjoying it even more. He does this several times, until one day when he comes in, and the Madame tells him, "I'm sorry, but the chicken died." "It died? Now what am I supposed to do?" The Madame tells him "Go up those stairs, and you'll be taken care of." He goes up the stairs and there's a bunch of guys pressed up against this big window screaming and hollering, and 2 women are getting after it on the other side of the glass. He muscles his way in, and they're all going crazy as they watch. He elbows the guy beside him and says, "Isn't this great?" The guy says, "You should have been here last week! They had some guy down there screwing a chicken!"

funniness: 7.25

rating: R