Funny.com. Work in progress... In the meantime, here are 10 random funny stuff for you:

Sasha Z.

George W. Bush was visiting an elementary school, and the 4th grade class he sat through began a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the President if he would like to lead the class in a discussion of the word ?tragedy.? So, George W. asked the class for an example of a tragedy. One boy stood up and said, ?If my best friend who lives next door is playing in the street and a car comes along and runs him over, that would be a tragedy.? ?No,? said Bush, ?that would be an accident.? A girl raised her hand and said, ?If a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone on board, that would be a tragedy.? ?I?m afraid not,? the President said. ?That?s what we would call a Great Loss.? The room went silent. No other children volunteered. President Bush searched the room and asked, ?Isn?t there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?? Finally, way in the back of the room, Johnny raised his hand, and in a quiet voice, he said, ?If Air Force One, carrying Mr. and Mrs. Bush, was struck by a missile and blown up to smithereens, THAT would be a tragedy.? ?That?s right! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?? asked the President. ?Well,? Johnny said, ?because it wouldn?t be an accident and it sure as hell wouldn?t be a Great Loss??

funniness: 8.19

rating: G

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jim b.

On a gambling holiday in Las Vegas, Stanley loses all his money. He does not even have enough money for the taxi to the airport, and to his bad luck, the cab driver realizes this two miles away from the airport. Stanley is kicked out and forced to walk the last two miles. Next year he comes back to Vegas for his annual week of gambling. This time, he wins big! On his last night, Stanley sees the cab driver who kicked him out of his car last year. He's the fourth car in a line of taxis outside the hotel Stanley's staying at. He decides it's the time and place for a little harmless payback. Stanley goes up to the first taxi and motions for the driver to roll down the window. "Hi, good evening. How much do you charge for oral sex? I'm really in the mood for a blowjob," Stanley says to the driver. The driver gets very agitated at this, and yelling "Fuck off!" rolls up the window again. Stanley repeats this process with the second and third cabs in line. They both decline his offer, seething with indignation. When Stanley gets to the fourth cab, the one who made him walk to the airport, he changes his offer. "Hi, good evening! How much do you charge for a trip to the Bellagio Casino?" he says. The cab driver answers "That's about 20 dollars, hop in," not recognizing his client at all. As the cab passes the three other ones in line in front of it, Stanley does a little thumbs up and winks at all the other drivers.

funniness: 9.46

rating: PG-13

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Moe R.

funniness: 8.13

rating: G

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Moe R.

funniness: 8.13

rating: R

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Moe R.

funniness: 8.68

rating: PG-13

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Moe R.

funniness: 9.23

rating: G

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ashley l.

funniness: 8.69

rating: PG

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Eric P.

funniness: 8.10

rating: PG

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Thomas A.

The best restaurant! Trust me i've seen it!

funniness: 9.56

rating: PG

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Hogan S.

I love toast, english muffins, bagels...particularly with peanut butter, and honey if it's there and the bees are in heat. But that's an aside. So I'm making toast this morning, while multitasking of course (feeding the cat, gathering s**t for work, etc). I hadn't made toast at the house in a while, so I pull the toaster from atop the fridge, plug it in and remove my bread. Now is the moment, the key decision. The toaster setting. You know how they have that knob that dictates "how toasted" you want your toast? This particular toaster has the cute little knob that indicates level of toastedness with the far left, low setting indicated by a tiny "icon" shaped like a piece of toast, and it's simply white or clear. The opposite of course is the alternative, black toast "icon". I like my toast a wee bit crispy, so I creep up towards the black toast, albeit a hair below. I press my bread down into the toaster and go about my business. Minutes later, my toast pops up, burnt to a f***ing crisp! Not even on the highest setting!! What in the worst g***amn design is going on here?! Why does a setting even EXIST on toasters that burns bread to a F***ING useless, charred version of its former self?! Bread is bread, bagels are bagels, muffins are muffins. They will all be destroyed at this setting, and there are no humans on the planet that enjoy eating buttered ashes. Every f***ing toaster I've ever seen is set up this way...tempting those of us in a hurry to make this error, ruin their breakfast and set the day in motion with an epic fail. Is there a setting on a jacuzzi, that if you turn the knob too high, will slowly boil you to f***ing death?!?! NO! Is there a setting on your furnace that will send searing hot air through the vents that will melt your F***ING face off?!?! NO!! I want to stand toe to toe, face to face with the oblivious retards in charge at Cuisinart, Kitchenaid...whoever the f***ing people are that make key decisions about toasters and DEMAND they answer to the countless slices of bread ruined, breakfast hopes demolished and days begun in utter disappointment. They have to answer to us all, and deserve at the very least a stern "F*** YOU!!!"

funniness: 8.29

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