Stephen M.

Two kids lived near a graveyard where there were a couple of pecan trees inside the fence. One day, they had decided to go to the graveyard and collect some pecans to bring home in baskets. After a few hours of pecan-picking, the two kids began to count each pecan, one-by-one, in order to split the pecans evenly between the two boys. "One, two, three, four, five..." As the two boys were in the midst of this, two of their pecans rolled over to the fence, escaping their notice. A minute later, another boy happened to be skateboarding near that same graveyard. As he neared, he heard a voice from inside. "Fifty-seven, fifty-eight." The boy began to panic and ran past the graveyard, where he met an old man with a walking stick, slowly walking along the road. The boy shouted to the man in a frenzy, "Help, you have to come and hear this!" The man replied, "Sonny, I can't go with you now. My wife expects me home in the next 10 minutes, and with my bad leg, there's no way I'm even going to make it there in a half an hour! I can't be bothered by you now, go away!" The boy said, "Please, you have to come with me! There is an evil spirit in the graveyard and he is counting the dead bodies!" The man was starting to think this was a big practical joke, but the boy wouldn't give up. So just to get the kid off of his back, the old man agreed to go with the kid for just one minute. When they approached the graveyard, the boy signalled the old man to be silent and listen closely. Then they heard it, "One hundred seventy-nine, one hundred eighty." Now the man started to believe this. He couldn't deny what he was hearing and the boy was as frightened as ever. They even heard a second voice cut in, "Don't forget we have to split these up between us." The boy gasped, "Oh my god! There are two spirits and they're dividing the souls between them!" The old man and the boy were even more scared as they leaned up towards the fence so they could hear every word. The voices continued, "Two hundred thirty-four, two hundred thirty-five." This went on for another minute as the old man and the boy became more and more nervous and leaned closer and closer towards the fence. The two boys in the graveyard, picking the pecans were finally about to finish counting their pecans. "Three hundred twelve, three hundred thirteen. Well, that's all of them! We can divide them later on." One of the two pecan-picking boys noticed the couple of pecans that had rolled towards the fence earlier. He said out loud to the other, "Hey, we forgot to get those two by the fence!" The kid and the old man by the fence was zipping down the street faster than you could blink. The old man made it home early.

funniness: 6.69

rating: PG