William M.

1. Hold office chair races in the hallways. 2. Take bets on above. 3. When your roomate is in the bathroom puking from drinking to much... charge admission to watch. 4. Do the same when he is having sex. 5. Post a "masturbation schedule" in your room allocating specific times at which you and your roomate are to be given "Me Time." 6. Alter fraternity/sorority recruitment posters to say funny things (i.e. I once changed a frat sign with a slogan of "Real Men Wear Black" to "Real Men Are Black") 7. Give wake up calls at six in the morning to all the people who were out drinking the night before. (Particularly fun if you had to stay in and study) 8. Greet your new roomate wearing nothing but a smile. 9. In a room without bunk beds still ask if you can sleep on top. 10. Walk from room to room wearing only a towel. 11. Pass out flyers for a non-existent party to be held at someone else's room at 2 in the morning, then wait outside their door and see who shows up. 12. Walk into the rooms of people you don't know and,without saying anything, make yourself at home, sit on their bed, turn on their TV, go through their CD's etc. 13. Insist on calling your roomate Dave. 14. Walk up and down the halls singing the Meow Mix theme song. 15. Whenever something odd happens like a door closes without anyone around or you hear a strange noise... blame it on the rabid maneating chinchilla. 16. When freshman are lost give them very specific incorrect and confusing directions. 17. Post strange notices in the hallways like "All upper-class freshman report to the Dining Hall Parking lot for Epidermal inspections" 18. Post notice like above but for "All cars in the freshman lot to be moved to..." and then make up a non-existant lot like "Viar's Field Lot" 19. When asked for directions to the above lot give very specific incorrect directions. 20. Leave cryptic notes on those dry erase message boards that people put on their doors (i.e. Rosebud or The Crow Flies at Midnight) 21. Steal markers from message boards in #20, or if they have tied a string to it to keep people from stealing it, steal the string and leave the pen. 22. Point and laugh at the young republicans, taunt them by saying "you're a walking oxymoron" 23. In the laundry room, see how many people you can fit in a dryer. 24. See how many people of the opposite sex you can get to make out with you. 25. See how many people of the same sex you can get to make out with you. 26. Go around asking to borrow small sums of money, never more than a dollar... see how much you can make. 27. Ask to borrow odd items from people on your hall (i.e. a single sock, toilet paper tubes, empty beer bottles, cigarette butts) then return it several days later in a mangled condition. 28. Build forts out of your empty take-out containers. 29. Take all your stuff into the nearest lounge and insist that it is your room. 30. During fire drills run around frantically screaming "We're all going to die!" When they tell you it's just a drill, fall to your knees crying "Why do they toy with us like this!" 31. Introduce yourself to different people using a different name, place of origin, and accent each time. See how long you can maintain the charade. 32. Intercept other people's Pizza's in the lobby and take them for yourself. 33. Fill condom with water, freeze, place in strategic location. 34. Have sex in your roomate's bed. 35. Offer other's money to have sex in your roomate's bed... see if anyone takes up the offer. 36. When you see somone posting flyers go along behind them tearing them down. 37. Order pizza for the whole dorm in your roomates name! 38. Insist your roomate take down all his posters because you don't like them staring at you when you undress. (i.e. I don't like the way Jim Morrison is staring at my ass) 39. Do the same as above but regarding their stuffed animals. 40. When your roomates parents call, tell them that their son/daughter can't talk right now because they're having sex (or because they are passed out drunk, hight, etc.) 41. Buy all the condoms from the condom machine on friday, and on saturday sell them at elevated prices. 42. Hide gay porn in discreet locations in the rooms of your more homophobic friends. 43. Find and befriend as many lesbians as possible... just because. 44. Take a condom, put a couple of drops of lotion or shampoo (I find pantene works well) and place in a strategic location. 45. Same as above but with actual semen (if it is readily available to you) 46. Start a conga line... go from door to door ... see if you can get the whole dorm to join.

funniness: 6.86

rating: PG