sly g.

Old telephone directories are ideal for personal address books, just mark out all the names and addresses that you don't know. When reading a book tear out each page as you read them, this prevents having to buy bookmarks, and later the pages can be used as shopping lists! Fool other drivers by taking a old TV remote and holding it up to your ear, this will make it look like you will have a very expensive cell phone! But don't forget to occasionally swerve across the road and mount the curb. Drill a one inch diameter hole in your refrigerator so you can check to see if the light goes off when you close it. Increase the life of your carpets by rolling them up and placing them in the garage. No time for a bath? Just wrap your self in masking tape and peel it off in a few minutes, this will remove dirt quickly. Expensive hair gels are a con. Marmalade is much cheaper, but beware of bees in the summer. Avoid cutting yourself by clumsily slicing your vegetables while you get somebody else to hold it for you.

funniness: 6.43

rating: PG