jennifer s.

1. Silent but deadly farts-the one that you think you are safe because they don't make a sound but a moment later there is a stench in the room that doesn't leave for days. 2. Fake poopie farts-the kind where you fart and it feels like you have gone poopie in your pants. 3. Card deck fart-the kind where you fart because you think it will be silent but it sounds like you are shuffling cards. 4. The on going fart-the kind where you fart so long that you have to stop and take a breath and then continue. 5. The mistake fart-the kind where you are 110% sure that you are going to fart but you do a poopie in your pants instead. 6. The Guinness Book of World Records fart-the kind that is so loud so long and so strong that it will be remember in history forever. 7. Squeaky fart-the kind you hold in because you are in a public place and it comes out slowly and in a high squeaky pitch. 8. Machine gun fart-a series of farts that if were let lose in a bank you would be rich. 9. Pop a vein in your forehead fart-the kind where you know you need to fart and it just wont come out until you are in an embarrassing situation. 10. The chain saw fart-the kind that is so loud and stinky that if you are outside trees will die and fall over. 11. Mystery fart-the one where you don't fart but you still smell something anyway. 12. The who-done-it fart-the kind where you are in a room with a bunch of people and someone lets one go but no one will confess. 13. The bathtub fart-produced by small chiseling when taking baths 14. The pool fart-at pool parties and you see bubbles fallowing certain people(eventually it could turn into a brown kind of color lingering around that person). 15. The premeditated fart-pork and bean induced (doesn't count). 16. The contest fart-the kind produced by males when females are not around. 17. The horny fart-the kind produced by first timers when involved in sexual intercourse (usually a male problem). 18. The tight pants fart-the kind where you see a bubble sliding down someone's leg when they are wearing tight pants and when it gets to the bottom you hear a loud PRRRRUUUUUUU..."FART" (usually a problem for teenage chicks). 19. The public transportation fart-the kind produced by adult males who think the cushiony seats will catch the fart...but everyone else will "catch" it instead. 20. The girlie fart-the kind that is thought to smell like roses. NOT!!!! 21. The glass breaker fart-so high pitch and long that it will break glass. 22. The dog catcher fart-the kind that is so high pitch that a pack of dogs come running(a dream come true for the dog catcher). 23. The old fogy fart-self explanatory. 24. The church fart-the kind where you are sitting in the middle of the pew and cant get out it is time for the sermon and you have to fart you think it will be silent so you let it go and it echoes through the sanctuary for what seems like hours and the pastor tries to keep preaching like nothing ever happen but he starts to crack as every one is trying to find out who did it. 25. The baptism fart-produced during baptism and the sound and bubbles echo through the pastors microphone. 26. The presidents fart-George W. Bush needs to fart but he cant so he says to the congress..."this is hard!! I need my daddy's help!"

funniness: 6.35

rating: PG