Funny.com. Work in progress... In the meantime, here are 10 random funny stuff for you:

Daniel L.

In the Mormon Church there is a family that has recently been baptized. After a month of being new members the Bishop calls them in separately to see how they are doing. During an interview with the father, the bishop asks, ?Will you give a talk next Sunday in Church?? The new convert replies, ?Sure, but what would you like me to give my talk on?? ?On anything you feel that would be beneficial to the congregation, like past experiences and such that have changed your life in a positive way.? So he goes home and immediately starts thinking about what he would like to speak on. One night as he is working on his talk his wife comes up to him and asks, ?So honey, what are you going to give your talk on?? ?Well, after much thought, I have decided to give a talk on water skiing.? ?Water skiing! What? This is Church we are talking about; you can?t give a talk on water skiing. It would be indecent!? ?The Bishop said I can give a talk on anything I wanted to and I want to give it on water skiing!? Her husband is known to be a big joker so she shrugs it off not worrying about it for the time being. As Sunday comes though, she starts to get nervous and can?t take it any longer. When they arrive at the church parking lot she says to him, ?Alright sweetheart, the jokes over. What are you really going to give your talk on?? ?I was being serious; I really am going to give a talk on water skiing!? His wife responds, ?Well, if that?s the way you are going to be, me and the kids do not want to be embarrassed by this, so we will wait out here in the car while you give your talk!? ?Fine, be that way!? He replies. So he goes into Church while his family stays in the car. As he sits down and waits for his turn to speak, he thinks it over and realizes that his wife is probably right. Talking about water skiing in Church? What was I thinking?!! So he goes to his back up plan. He gives a talk on adultery. After he gives his talk and the session ends he goes back to the parking lot to get his wife and kids and to apologize for the way he acted. But before he could say anything to them the Bishop comes up and turns to his wife and remarks, ?Your husband gave one of the best talks in Church. I mean there wasn?t even a dry eye in the room after he finished!? The wife stared at the Bishop incredulously and said, ?You must be joking! He?s only done it twice. Once with my mother and once with my sister and couldn?t get up either time!!?

funniness: 9.34

rating: PG-13

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.mally-sportsrulle m.

These should be the rules of the real world. New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids:.... lucky bastards. New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're gay. If you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you're a grown man, they're pictures of men. New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some Jack Daniels over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water. New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge asshole. New Rule and this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your web cam, dude. I just want to wash my hands. New Rule: Stop sending me that pop-up ad for Classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn. New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chilli. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout? Luckily, it was only a finger! If it was a whole hand, Congress would have voted to keep it alive. New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high. New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show." New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M&M. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two. New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie. New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting. New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months: "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not cheese. And I didn't care in the first place.

funniness: 8.11

rating: PG

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Zoe S.

A man said to his wife, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful at the same time." The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"

funniness: 8.42

rating: PG

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L L.

funniness: 9.14

rating: G

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Genny J.

During a ride in a taxi, the rider touches the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. Upon the touch the cab driver flinches, screams, and goes into a full panic, swerving from side to side on the road. Finally the driver regains control. "sorry" the cab driver says, "this is my first day on the job. for the past 20 years i have been driving a hearse."

funniness: 8.29

rating: G

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Chris R.

funniness: 8.17

rating: PG

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pvlk k.

funniness: 8.52

rating: PG

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Moe R.

funniness: 9.72

rating: R

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Moe R.

funniness: 8.47

rating: PG-13

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Dino P.

funniness: 8.48

rating: PG

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