S J.

Here are a few problems and solutions you may encounter with your wife. Problem: Your wife wants more foreplay during sex, and you arent really the man for the job. Solution: Show up with 2 other girls in the bedroom and tell her you didnt understand her, you thought she meant "four-play." ******************** Problem: Shes always buying too many damn pairs of shoes. Solution: On her birthday, paint a few of her existing shoes a different color and wrap them up, that might keep your bank account at more that 2 digits. ******************** Problem: Shes always drooling over some good-looking celebrity like Brad Pitt, and she indirectly tells you that you should be more like him. Solution: Casually mention to her that Pamela Anderson Lee looks so great with her breast implants, your wife probably will never have tits as suculant as that, and it should shut her up for a while. ******************** Problem: Shes into torture sex (whips, phone cord, handcuffs) but its not what you think, she wants to torture YOU. Solution: Check out as many Harry Houdini books at the library as possible. ******************** Problem: During the night, without noticing it, your wife takes more than her share of the blanket, and you're always feeling like a damn eskimo in the middle of the night, freezing your ass off. Solution: Slowly and carefully place the bathroom rug on top of her while shes asleep. Then with your greatest stealth, pull all of the blanket on your side for a good nights sleep.

funniness: 7.13

rating: R