Candice S.

- Some mornings, it just ain't worth chewing through the leather straps. - Chaos, panic, and disorder; my job is done here. - Few women admit their age, even fewer men act theirs. - Oh, wait, sorry, I didn't mean to look interested. - DAMMIT, YOU'RE STILL TALKING?! - Sex on the television can't hurt you . . . unless you fall off. - Never play leapfrog with a unicorn. - Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off. - I went to hell, it was full, so I came back. - Ya know what, it really don't matter if I win or lose, just as long as I piss you off in the process. - Pissed off? Hey, it's better than being pissed on. - I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather...not screaming and yelling like the people in his car. - I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it. - It's not an optical illusion, it just looks that way. - Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. - We're born naked, wet, and hungry. . . .then things get worse. - God bless America. But, God, please help Canada. - Hey, the light at the end of that tunnel may be an oncoming train. - Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and the world laughs louder. - Love thine enemies...it REALLY pisses them off. - Friends come and go, but enemies seem to accumulate. - You can only be young once, but you can be immature FOREVER!. - Gravity sucks. - There are few problems that cannot be solved with the usage of high explosives.

funniness: 7.41

rating: PG