Tim S.

Criminal #1: This guy in New York walks into a bank and demands money. The teller pushes the little red button below the counter that sets off the alarm siren. When he hears it he trys to run out the door. He trys to push it open, but it won't move. He keeps pushing. Still no luck. Finally the police come and arrest him. When he is put into the cop car he realizes that the door was a pull door instead of a push door. Criminal #2: This guy in San Fransisco trys to rob a 7-Eleven. He walks in and points his gun at the cashier. When he notices the cashier isn't looking he sets his gun down on the counter and he trys to get a date with this hot woman standing next to him. After he gets rejected, he looks back at the cashier and he sees the barrel of his gun pointing at his head. He runs out the door and the cashier shoots him in the knee. The police come shortly after that and arrest him. Criminal #3: This guy walks into a bank and asks the teller for money. The teller cooperates and hands him a bag of money. The teller immediately calls the cops. He runs out of the bank feeling pretty good about his successful robbery. When he gets to his getaway car he realizes he doesn't have his car keys. He runs back into the bank and finds his keys on the counter. The teller and all the customers in the bank are on the ground laughing. He grabs his keys and runs back out the door to find the cops pulling into the parking lot. He is immediately arrested. Criminal #4: This guy walks into a bank and demands money. The cashier goes into the vault to get some money. When she returns she pushes a button to activate a steel door over the tellers windows. The robber tries to dive under the doors but gets caught inbetween them. He is wincing in pain because he has broken all his ribs and the tellers are punching him in the face. When the police arrive all they see are legs moving wildly in the air and realize that the robber has got caught in the doors. They take him out of the doors and take him to the hospital where he stays for 3 days recovering while strappred to his hospital bed. He later goes to jail for 5 years. Crimnal #5: This robber walks into a Co-Go's not knowing that an plainscothes officer is outside. When he tries to get the money the teller pushes the alarm button for the police. The robber tries to make a run for it but sees a shopping cart comming at him. He tries to jump it but gets caught in it instead and flips over. The plainclothes officer that he did not notice had pushed that cart at him. He was taken away by the officer and put in jail. Criminal #6: These 2 teens in England had been goin around robbing CD stores. Their plan was that one man would go in the store, sneak out with the goods, and his partner would drive the getaway car up to the front of the building where the first guy would jump in and they would drive away. The police had a hard time figuring out the case because there were no witnesses or finger prints. All they could do was step up the patrols in the area. One night while these two cops were waiting in front of a store lookin for clues, a guy jumps in the back seat and yells,"Hit it, go!" The two cops look at each other a little confused and obeyed driving right to the police station. It turns out that the guy who jumped in the cop car was nearsighted and mistaked the cop car for the getaway car. The police later arrested the second criminal.

funniness: 7.45

rating: PG