Ward D.

Helpline: General Motors Helpline, how can I help you? Customer: I got my car and closed the door, and nothing happened! Helpline: Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it? Customer: What's an ignition? Helpline: It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and turn over the engine. Customer: Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know all of these technical terms just to use my car? Helpline: General Motors Helpline, how can I help you? Customer: My car ran fine for a week, and now it won't go anywhere! Helpline: Is the gas tank empty? Customer: Huh? How do I know? Helpline: There's a little gauge on the front panel, with a needle, and markings from 'E' to 'F'. Where is the needle pointing? Customer: It's pointing to 'E'. What does that mean? Helpline: It means that you have to visit a gasoline vendor, and purchase some more gasoline. You can install it yourself, or pay the vendor to install it for you. Customer: What!? I paid $12,000 for this car! Now you tell me that I have to keep buying more components? I want a car that comes with everything built in! Helpline: General Motors Helpline, how can I help you? Customer: Your car sucks! Helpline: What's wrong? Customer: It crashed, that's what went wrong! Helpline: What were you doing? Customer: I wanted to run faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal all the way to the floor. It worked for a while, and then it crashed--and now it won't start! Helpline: It's your responsibility if you misuse the product. What do you expect us to do about it? Customer: I want you to send me one of the latest versions that doesn't crash anymore! Helpline: General Motors Helpline, how can I help you? Customer: Hi! I just bought my first car, and I chose your car because it has automatic transmission, cruise control, power steering, power brakes, and power door locks. Helpline: Thanks for buying our car. How can I help you? Customer: How do I work it? Helpline: Do you know how to drive? Customer: Do I know how to what? Helpline: Do you know how to drive? Customer: I'm not a technical person! I just want to go places in my car!

funniness: 7.22

rating: PG